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True, true, dis Lagos na wa. Wen you jus enter Lagos for Berger, look up and you go see signboard wey say “This is Lagos”. You no go ever see “Welcome to Lagos”, as you go see for order town.
Di meaning be say, as you carry your body enter Lagos so, you dey on your own (O.Y.O). Anyting wey you see for inside, take am so.
Na im make some people go stay for Lagos ti-ti-ti-ti, no show. Wen dem don tire to stay, dem go pack dia load inside nylon bag and begin go back to dia village.
But some people dey wey go jam lucky for Lagos and even become nimonaire. Yes nah.
Since 1965 wen I run comot for my village for Ogbomoso come Lagos becos of Arike, I don dey tink weda me sef no go jam lucky one day.
I comot for Standard 5 for night school wey dey my village, run come Lagos becos my classmate, Arike papa wan take African Insurance finish me say na me give im pikin belle.
See me see wahala o. True true, me and Arike dey siddon for di same table for class, but na only im body and my body dey touch. E no pass dat o. I swear! If I lie make I baf naked for bafroom.
As I manage land for Lagos, I first go learn mecho work. After my freedom, na im Olorun come butter my bread and I come begin do dis my taxi driver work.
I don dey do dis work with dis my guonguoro since den. I use dis work marry my wife Bose, den come get my two woman pikin – Bisi and Funke – wey wan take JAMB dis year so.
Even dough hungry no dey catch us, but I don dey tink wen me sef go make am for dis Lagos. Di people wey dey make am, shey na two head dem carry?
Me sef I wan comot for dis Baba Briamoh face-me-I-face-you house wey me and my family dey live for Abule Egba. Baba Briamoh wahala too much.
Di house sef noting dey. If you wan go shit, you go tanda for queue sote shit go nearly comot for your nyansh. If you wan go baf, dat one you must wake up before everybody. But if you hear as Baba Briamoh wan talk about dis im house, you go tink say na one better mansion wey dey for VGC abi Banana Island.
Na im make yesterday, my belle sweet no be small. One passenger like dat come take me for drop go Yaba.
As we dey go, e tell me say im dey enjoy how I take drive, say I go don get experience well well.
I tell am say na today? Wen I tell am di year I begin do taxi driver for Lagos, di man shout.
E say na my type im dey look for. E say im get one company wey dey give people like me loan to take improve business.
And im company no go tell me to bring big house, big motor or land before I go get di loan. E say na chechere interest dey for di loan, in fact, na nearly like dash.
Di bobo come tell me say, with di loan, I go fit buy tear rubber car use am do Uber, Opay or Taxify. If I like sef, I fit take di car go register as Airport taxi. Olorun Oba o!
Before I open my mouth sef, di bobo don bring out one Form like dat give me. E say make I go fill di Form and return am. E say I go get di loan, before one week sef pass.
I ask am like how much I go fit collect, di bobo say I fit collect any amount wey go buy di kind of motor I wan use. Tori Olorun!
By dis time we don reach di place di bobo dey go for Yaba. I collect di Form kia kia. E pay me my money and give me im card. I come see for di card say di bobo na oga patapata of Cabby Finance Comp any.
Come see as I begin fire my guonguoro dey go back make my pikin dem helep me fill di Form.
(To be continued)
Make we jam again on Tuesday.
Tank you.
Tank you very much.
And tank you very, very much indeed.