I no even allow day break finish, I don rush enter baf room for Baba Briamoh face-me-I-face-you house wey I dey live with my family for Abule Egba.
Una kukuma sabi say, if I delay make all di tenant dem wake up dat morning, to see chance baf go be wahala. You must to join di long queue to baf, and e fit be say na around 12 o’clock pm in di afternoon my own turn to baf go reach. And dem don tell us day before for Dangote company wey dey for Ikoyi say make we report for morning.
Tank God say I baf finish dat yesterday morning before any tenant wake up. My wife Bose even tell me say make I wait small make e warm food to take hold my belle small as I no sabi di time di company go release us. I tell Bose make e no worry, say wen I reach dia, I go buy one Gala chop and take pure water wash am down till dem finish.
Di only ting wey dey my mind dat time na to go collect my appointment letter as chief trailer driver of di company.
By di time I drive my guonguoro reach di company, all dose people wey come dat day, don full dia already. Tori Olorun!
I sure say dem no sleep for dia house dat night, na im make dem fit come dat early.
E no too tey, di lepa shandy sisi staff and im big belle bobo co worker come meet us. Dem begin call us one by one inside one office like dat, for interview. And e come be say na me dem first call. I happy no be small.
Wen I enter, dem be five oga wey siddon for di high table – 2 woman and 3 man dem.
Dem ask me weda na me be Oluwafemi Olugbemiro. I say yes, na my name be dat but di hole Lagos dey call me Oga MAT.
One of dem say, “Oga MAT? That is not included here on your application letter. What does that mean?”
I tell dem say na my first woman pikin, Bisi forgot to add am wen I tell am make e helep me write di application letter.
As I talk like dat, all of dem come dey look demsef one by one.
I tell dem say Oga MAT na my business name, and di meaning of MAT na Man About Town, wey mean say no place for dis Lagos wey my guonguoro never enter.
Di oga patapata for dia come say, “Guonguoro?”
I say yes, dat na so dem dey call my old taxi. I tell dem say I surprise as dem no sabi me as di number one taxi driver for Lagos.
Di oga come cough one kind cough like dat. After, e tell me make I show dem my certificate. I ask dem, “Certificate? Se na certificate wey be ordinary paper I go take drive di trailer?”
I tell dem say I don dey do taxi driver work for dis Lagos before dia mama born dem. I also tell dem say, with my drivers license, noting wey I no fit drive, even if na caterpillar sef.
Na dat time dia oga tell me say, di people wey dem wan for di job na young graduate wey get PhD.
I ask am wetin be PhD, e say na doctor degree. I come tell dem say na wetin concern dokitor, concern to drive trailer. I say me I no be dokitor, na my papa be di number one native dokitor for my village for Ogbomosho. But e don die tipe tipe.
I tell dem say, to say I sabi say na native dokitor paper dem need for di work, I for don rush go my village go find weda I go fit see any paper wey my papa dey take mix im medicine for people before e die.
As I talk dat one, all of dem jus do dia face one kind. I no come understand dem again.
Dia oga come tell me say, di certificate wey dem wan no be native dokitor own, say PhD na di ogbonge degree wey dem dey give for university. E say make I dey go and continue my taxi driver work till I get PhD wey dem wan for di job. Olorun Oba o!
As I comot for dat room, I come dey swear for Arike papa wey make me stop for Standard 5 for my village night school, run come do mecho apprentice for Lagos, before I come begin dey do dis my taxi driver work.
But weda or wedan’t dem like am, I must start night school for dis Lagos again until I get dat ogbonge paper wey Dangote dey find.
Make we jam again on Tuesday.
Tank you.
Tank you very much.
And tank you very, very much indeed.
NEWS EXPRESS is Nigeria’s leading online newspaper. Published by Africa’s international award-winning journalist, Mr. Isaac Umunna, NEWS EXPRESS is Nigeria’s first truly professional online daily newspaper. It is published from Lagos, Nigeria’s economic and media hub, and has a provision for occasional special print editions. Thanks to our vast network of sources and dedicated team of professional journalists and contributors spread across Nigeria and overseas, NEWS EXPRESS has become synonymous with newsbreaks and exclusive stories from around the world.