To do taxi driver work for Lagos no easy rarara. I swear! If na lie I talk, make I tanda naked baf for bafroom.

E get day wey man go siddon for garage from morning till night, no passenger go jus show face. And e get di day wey be say you go work from morning till morning, you no go even get chance chop.

And dis rain wey come dey fall everyday so, come dey cause anoder wahala for road. Any day rain jus drop small like dis, na so all di road for Lagos go turn to River Jordan.

Wen e dey like dat, man pikin go jus find one place park till di rain stop. If you say make you do shakara put your motor for road wen rain dey fall, hmn, na so water go jus carry you, your passenger and your motor go trowey for Lagos lagoon. Olorun maje!

Na im make as heavy rain fall yesterday morning, I say make I siddon for house small. All of us complete for house - me, my wife Bose, my first woman pikin Bisi and im sister Funke.

Small time, na im my chinko torch light phone begin ring. Wen I see di name of di person wey dey call, I no gree pick di call. Dat my busybody pikin, Funke come tell me say daddy pick your call nah. I ask am wetin concern am.

Di phone ring again, I no pick. E ring di third time, na im I cut am piiaam.

If you see di kind eye wey Bose take look me wen I cut di call, if small pikin see di eye, e must to get convulsion.

Na so di phone come ring again. Torin Olorun! Abi dis buka girl wan cause wahala for my family?

Icarry di phone rush go for backyard. I pick di call, na im Sikiratu begin hala me why I no wan pick im call.

I tell Sikiratu say weda e no know say I dey for house. E say how e go take know, weda e be wintch to sabi say by 10 o’clock am in di morning I still dey for house.

I ask am weda e no see dis kind rain wey dey fall. Sikiratu tell me say na even becos of di rain e call me. E say e wan ask me weda I no go come dia buka (Madam Shine Buka) , say cold too much, make I come cover am small.

Sikiratu say di rain don dey come down, make I begin dey come, say e dey wait for me. E say if I no come now, now, now, make I no talk to am again lai lai.

See as dis buka girl hold me for work o! Well, I like my Siki Babe. I tell am say “Your wish is my commander.”

I rush enter parlour again. I tell Bose and my two woman pikin dem say, as rain don dey stop small small, I wan begin go our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge.

Na Funke first tell me bye bye. Bisi do like say e too busy with di book wey e dey read. Dia mama do like say e no hear wetin I talk. Me I no mind dem, I must to go wia I wan go.

I rush go on top of cupboard wey I dey keep my guonguoro key, I no see am. I use hand search everywia, I no see am. I look inside di cupboard, I look under, I no still see di key.

Na im I ask who see my guonguoro key for here. Nobody answer me. I look Bose, Bose come ask me why I dey look am like dat. I ask am weda e see my key. My wife ask me wetin concern am concern my key.

E come tell me say make I find di key well well come begin dey go, sebi I don turn to blanket wey dey cover cold.

I come talk am for my mind say, abi dis people been come take style listen wen I dey talk for phone with Sikiratu for backyard? Se dem don hide my guonguoro key make I no comot?

Small time, na im my phone come dey ring again ti-ti-ti, non stop. And na Sikiratu. Olorun Oba o!

(To be continued)

Make we jam again on Friday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.