The Yoruba have a popular saying: Bi ogiri o lanualangbako lo wobe. That means, if the wall does not have an opening, there was no way, the lizard can get in.

I have carefully internalised the response of President Muhmmadu Buhari’s reply to his wife’s outburst. It makes for a comic relief. And, I cannot agree less with Governor Owelle Rochas Okorocha of Imo State. Every remark of Mr President, said Okorocha, was blown out of proportion by the media in that regard. I have a postulation to support this line of argument

I stumbled on comments by Dr Reuben Abati (Special Adviser on Media and Publicity to former President Goodluck Jonathan) on the raging controversy, entitled ‘Aisha Buhari and that BBC Interview.’ In order to enrich and elevate the level of discourse, I’ll quote Abati copiously:

“Public communication is one of the most delicate challenges that people in public life face, either in the corporate or the public sector. Many people suddenly find themselves in high places, and they become a source of news, a potential interview subject, and they get chased around by journalists and other media figures who want a story; in fact, not just a story, but a scoop. I used to explain in communication coaching classes and to the bosses whose media I managed, at one point or the other, that they should never feel obliged to say things they do not want to say. No matter how aggressive the journalist may be, they should be careful what they say” (emphasis mine).

This is true indeed. On many occasions, our public figures are so much in a haste to grant interviews to the media without first weighing the import of what they intend to say to the press. Perhaps, it is right to think or believe that Aisha, in her true conscience, never anticipated the kind of negative reaction that greeted her interview with the BBC, so much so that her spouse was taken to the ‘cleaners’. For her, in my humble thinking, she was just making an innocent or harmless remark. This is so unfair. But, in my view, she did not manage the situation well. No matter how frustrating her efforts are to bring the ‘hard-truth’ to the notice or attention of her spouse, in this case, the President, she ought to have been persistent and circumspect in granting such interview on a sensitive national issue, certainly not to BBC. That was taking it too far. As an African woman, a wife, with the finest Hausa traditional background and, indeed, highly educated for that matter, Mrs Aisha Buhari ought to have realised the weight of her remarks, any time, any day and should have been more scrupulous in responding to questions. It is called tacit.

Again, let us quote from Abati’s article under reference:

“A journalist would make you feel at home; he or she may even reassure you that whatever you don’t want published could be edited out, and that if you don’t feel comfortable with a question, you should feel free to keep quiet. But a good journalist knows how to push you into a corner and get you, through follow-up questions, to say things you may not ordinarily want to say. By the time the tape starts rolling, and you are encouraged to feel like a star, and your own tongue starts rolling, you’d be surprised the kind of emphasis what you consider an innocent remark, would receive when it is published”.

Many times, this is never so and public figures should understand the mindset of a journalist, who is out to get a scoop, an exclusive story. Unfortunately, Mrs Aisha Buhari took this aspect for granted, which was the genesis of this unnecessary controversy that seems to bring to question the harmony and respect for the first family into public scrutiny. I am first to admit that as the number one family, they are indeed open to regular scrutiny, but it is left for them to protect the sanctity of the family. As painful as the controversy later became, the Nigerian public, especially men, and by extension husbands, who treat their spouses with disdain at home became saints and instant judges on this issue and found it convenient to make disdainful remarks about the President, especially those who do not share the same political view with him and his party. Thankfully, the holier-than-attitude of these Nigerians did not in any way affect the mutual respect that exists between Mr President and his amiable wife.

This whole controversy has brought to the fore the other side of the President – a significant dimension in his relationship with Aisha. For the wife of the president to be bold to gleefully say such things as she did in the public domain without a hook shows the kind of freedom and support she enjoys from her husband, and on the home-front. I wonder how many Nigerian men, irrespective their positions, who would tolerate such fragrant and open confrontation (and disrespect?) from their spouses, bearing in mind Ephesians 5: 21-25, which reads:

Brethren: Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church, His body, and is himself its Saviour. As the Church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands (emphasis mine).

I have never been close to His Excellency Mr Peter Obi, the immediate past governor of Anambra State. But, I have heard wonderful stories about him, in terms of his scrupulous financial discipline, as governor of Anambra State and his genuine desire to uplift and positively impact on the lives of the industrious and ever-purposeful people of the state. I was, therefore, excited to listen to him recently on the Platform, a live telecast on Channels TV, on October 1, 2016. I love Mr. Peter Obi’s exposition on that occasion, and tried to juxtapose it with the current issue, under review. Permit me, therefore, to quote Mr Obi, not necessarily verbatim, just to draw a lesson there from. Among other things, Peter Obi told his audience and viewers that, “his wife will come and say: ‘Peter, you will not kill me, people are complaining about you and your style of government that you are too stingy.’ And he, asked: ‘who these people complaining that I am too stingy?’ Big-men, elites, top civil servants and those who steal from government coffers. They are the ones complaining not the common people,” the former Governor concluded.

And that is the stimulating message. That is the point, so clearly stated. Yes, Peter Obi’s wife was clearly unhappy with her spouse’s style of administration. She complained in the right place, not taking her frustration to the media, not humiliating her husband and his executive position, but she complained with the best of intention and in the overall interest and safety of her husband. Of course, the message sank well-taken. Consequently, the husband took notice of it. Until this open revelation, the media did not know of Mrs Peter Obi’s frustration in this regard. She maintained a dignified silence and that is how it should be.

The President has an arduous responsibility running this country, with the competing interest of the various nationalities to contend with. It is, therefore, our duty to help and support him, to lessen this huge responsibility that the mandate of over 15 million-plus Nigerians has placed on his lap. It will, therefore, be a total disservice to criticise him and his style of administration

wrongly, particularly in the face of the huge and daunting challenges of the moment.

He is certainly not an angel, but normal human being like every one of us. He constantly needs to be guided, encouraged and supported by those around him; either as ministers and/or special advisers cum aides, and other loyal party members who have the best of intentions for this country at heart.

•Bernard Balogun, whose photo appears alongside this piece, writes from Wuse District, Abuja. He can be reached via Bernardbalogun1@yahoo.com; 08181812456