Upon say di madam hear my wayo cough, to know say person dey inside di car wia e trowey nyansh to piss, di madam still go ahead and pour. Come hear as di madam piss dey fall for my guonguoro body like rainstorm. Tori Olorun!
I tink say wen di madam piss finish, e go begin go back to di party hall, but na lie. Di madam begin stagger, and begin knock my guonguoro door.
E come talk for drink eye say:
“Femi open the door of the car (hic). I know very well that you brought another woman here (hic). I heard your voice very well (hic). You abandoned me, your wife, at the party (hic). Open this door now or I break the windscreen (hic).” Olorun Oba o!
Wen I hear dat one, nobody tell me to open di door of my guonguoro.
I come dey beg di madam say no be im husband motor be dis. I tell am say I be taxi driver, I carry one passenger for charter from Lagos come for di party.
Di woman ask me weda I sure say im husband no dey with anoder woman dey do isekuse inside dis dia Lexus jeep.
Jeep ke! Na im I kia kia put on my inner light make di woman see say dis one na guonguoro, no be jeep.
Before I say jack, di woman don grab my kini, e open my shokoto trouser rope, trowey im wrapper for ground and remove im dross. E say I must do am dat ting wey im husband carry di order woman comot for di party, go do for outside. E say di husband of dat woman sef dey look for im wife upandan. I weak!
Come see as me and dis madam come dey struggle for inside my guonguoro. I wan shout but quick quick, di madam put im mouth for my mouth and begin dey kiss piom piom piom. Come hear as all im mouth and body dey smell like brewery. Eledumare sanu mi !
Afraid come catch me. Na person wife for Ijebu be dis o. If im husband don nack am magun for kini nko?
As di woman open di two both of im leg wide and hang am for up, hold my kini to drag am put inside im own kini, na im I hear, “Oya, driver let's go back to Lagos”. My passenger don come be dat.
Make we jam again on Tuesday.
Tank you
Tank you very much
And tank you very, very much indeed.
NEWS EXPRESS is Nigeria’s leading online newspaper. Published by Africa’s international award-winning journalist, Mr. Isaac Umunna, NEWS EXPRESS is Nigeria’s first truly professional online daily newspaper. It is published from Lagos, Nigeria’s economic and media hub, and has a provision for occasional special print editions. Thanks to our vast network of sources and dedicated team of professional journalists and contributors spread across Nigeria and overseas, NEWS EXPRESS has become synonymous with newsbreaks and exclusive stories from around the world.