One of di wife applicant talk say, e don tire to do ashewo work since wen e come Lagos. E say na im make e pack im load comot for di hotel e been dey for Maza Maza as e jus see di new wife vacancy wey I write last week. E say in fact, e don become my new wife already, if no be so, e go jus kill imsef now, now, now. Tori Olorun!

Na so I come begin beg di seven of dem wey jump inside my guonguoro make dem give me chance make I jus come down first.

One say I must to gree first to marry am before e comot for my guonguoro. I say shiioorr! As e talk like dat, di rest support am.

I come ask dem how many new wife dem wan make I marry. Dem say dat one no concern dem, shebi dem dey dia own jeje, na me come advertise for newspaper say I dey find new wife.

Na so I use style bring out my torch light chinko phone. I flash oga olopa wey dey for Area F for Ikeja.

Oga olopa call me back quick, quick. E ask me wetin happen. I tell am say, “My Oga, I dey for big wahala”. As I jus talk dat one, I switch off my phone.

Dem ask me who call me, I tell dem say I no know di person, dat as I wan answer di call, na im my phone battery peme. Dem say tank God.

E no reach two minute, na im truck load of olopa with gun land for our garage. Di olopa dem jump down, cock dia gun and point for di sisi dem.

One olopa open fire for up puuuaaarrhh, puuuaaarrhh! Come see as all di new wife applicant dem scatter. Dem run pass Ben Johnson sef. Olopa tink say dem be #EndSARS.

Even all di ones inside my guonguoro jump comot and run.

Wen our garage clear, na im I come tell di oga olopa wetin happen. Say na di new wife vacancy wey I put inside newspaper last week make all di Lagos sisi dem find me come garage for screening.

Di oga olopa look me ti-ti-ti-ti, e no know wetin e go tell me. E jus shake im head, jump inside dia Pick Up van and tell di driver make e carry dem back to station.

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you

Tank you very much

And tank you very, very much indeed.