As I open di KFC pack begin to chop, I no even come know wetin I go first chop for inside as orisirisi tings full dia.

Fried rice, potato chips, salad, one full chicken, snail, moi moi, big fish wey dem don roast, plus including Five Alive. In short, I confuse.

I come talk am for my mind say make I carry di full pack go house wen I close so dat my wife Bose and my two woman pikin dem – Bisi and Funke – go follow enjoy di KFC pack.

Anoder mind come tell me say, if Oga come down after im meeting and ask me weda I don chop di food wey e buy for me, wetin I go tell am?

Una kukuma sabi say, if I put di pack for pigeon hole to carry am go house, dat kind KFC pack no dey hide, e must to show face with better smell.

Na im I come say make I chop small, remain di rest carry go give my family for house. I say if oga still hear di smell wen e come, I go tell am say I chop am and my belle full, say I wan keep am, small time I go chop di remainder.

Na so I say make I begin with di salad. I open di plastic container and chuk di small plastic spoon inside. As I jus put di salad for my mouth, I nearly craze. Olorun Oba o!

I never chop anyting wey sweet like dat since my papa and mama born me for my village for Ogbomoso.

I chuk di spoon inside again, I no come know wen I rush finish di hole salad. I come begin taste di long fish. My broder, dat one na egba! As I begin dey wack dis KFC pack, I no come know mysef again.

I deal with di fish finish, I come enter di snail. Den I begin dey jack up di full chicken wey oil and pepper still dey drop for im body. I open di fried rice and pour di chips and moi moi on top. I begin chop am like person wey jus run comot for Edo prison and jam food. And las las, I open di Five Alive take wash everyting down. Tori Olorun!

Na dat time I come see say I don finish everyting wey dey inside di pack. Anybody wey dey cook dat KFC food na ogbologbo wintch, I swear! You fit chop your finger join am sef if you no take time.

Small time, di chief security officer for di bank wey show me place to park my guonguoro come meet me. E tell me say chairman send am to me.

I ask am who be chairman. Di man ask me weda I no know say na di chairman of dia bank I carry for my taxi come so. E say since wey di oga escape for kidnapper dem hand, e no dey use official car again.

E say now, di oga go jus waka enter garage and take taxi for drop any time e come from Abuja and wen e finish, e go take anoder yellow taxi go back to airport.

Na so di chief security officer of di bank give me one fat brown envelope. E say chairman say make e give me. E say chairman say make I dey go, say e don cancel im flight as e no go travel back to Abuja again today. Chairman say e still dey for meeting and e go enter anoder emergency meeting after dis one.

I hold di envelop, afraid catch me. Di envelop heavy like Mighty Igor.

I tank di man. I tell am make he helep me tank chairman.

Na wen I reach our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge I see say na 200k dey inside di envelop. I wan faint!

You see say if I no been upgrade my guonguoro dis new year, I no for see bank chairman carry?

True, true, soup wey sweet, na money kill am.

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you

Tank you very much

And tank you very, very much indeed.