Some tings dey happen for dis world, I swear!

Dis Coro wey don dey go small small now for Naija (no be me talk am o), e show plenty people shege.

See person like Mutiu wey be our union member for our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge, di bobo hear nwi dat time wey oga patapata shutdown di hole Naija.

Di last day wey all of us come our garage before di lockdown, nobody see Mutiu. We come dey fear weda Olopa, Soja, FRSC, LASTMA, Maja Maja, Yellow Fever or Council don arrest am for road carry am go lock for station.

Im phone sef no gree go, e dey always talk say “This line cannot be reached”.

Na after like one week Mutiu call our union chairman Jimoh, e say dat night gan gan wey oga patapata announce lockdown, na im e travel go Lokoja for Kogi go meet im family.

Mutiu na Kwara man but im wife be teacher for Kogi. And im 3 woman pikin dem dey for Kogi with dia mama.

As we siddon for garage dey nack tori yesterday, Mutiu jus appear like ghost.

Come see as everybody for garage jump, shout, sing and dance to take welcome Mutiu back for Lagos.

Mutiu no come look like di Mutiu wey we sabi. Come see as im belle shoot out pim, like DPO belle. And I no come know Mutiu bie bie and Ojukwu own which one plenty pass.

But im body fine sha. Everybody come dey talk say im Kogi wife do overtime for Mutiu body. From March to August!

Na later Mutiu come call me one corner, dey tell me wetin e take im eye see for im wife hand for Kogi.

E say di first week wey e reach Kogi, im wife and pikin dem happy well well to see am.

E say dat time wey Coro strong well well, food no lack for house. E dey chop orisirisi food. E go chop, sleep, wake up, chop, sleep wake up and chop. Plus including bend bend sleep, all combine.

Mutiu say one day e come ask im wife weda na dis small private primary school teacher work dey give am all dis money wey e dey take stock food like dis for house.

And come see orisirisi clothe, shoe and handbag everywia. Tori Olorun!

E say na dat day di wife come gboro for am. Mutiu say noting wey im wife no tell am. Sote e tell am weda na di chechere money wey e dey get for im yeye taxi driver work for Lagos e for use take care of di family.

E say small time, im wife go comot for dat lockdown, e no go come back till midnight.

Im first pikin wey be like 7 year old come tell am say na uncle place e go. E say anoder uncle sef dey come sleep for dia house wen I never come Kogi. Olorun Oba o!

Mutiu say na dat very day e begin plan to come back Lagos, but road no come dey. E jus manage take corner corner road reach im village for Kwara. E say na for village e dey with im first wife till dat yesterday wey e come back so.

Mutiu come tell me say e really need wife wey go stay with am for Lagos. E come look ground, shake im head, den come look my face ti-ti-ti.

Small time Mutiu smile, hold my hand and say:

“Yes! Oga MAT!! Now I remember!!! Wetin be dat your second pikin name?”

I tell am “Funke. So wetin come happen?”

Mutiu say na my pikin e wan marry wey go take care ofam for Lagos.

Mutiu, marry my pikin? Olorun maje!

See Mutiu wey be say any inter-state drop wey e carry passenger go, e must to marry wife for dia.

Im wife number one and 5 pikin dey for im village for Kwara. Wife number two dey Minna with 2 pikin. Wife number three dey Ibadan with 4 pikin. Na wife number four dey Kogi wey show am pepper.

Now Mutiu wan marry my pikin and keep for Lagos as wife number five. My pikin wey Mutiu see wen I born am o. My pikin wey dey wait make e enter uniservity with im senior sister Bisi wen dem open school o.

I tell Mutiu say, make e no worry, say I go give am reply tomorrow. Oloribruku!

I come talk am for my mind say, even if my pikin wan marry now, how e go lef tear rubber chassis, come marry old second hand cargo like Mutiu? Mtcheewwww!

Make we jam again on Friday.

Tank you

Tank you very much

And tank you very, very much indeed.