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O, my Sallah meat!

News Express |13th Aug 2019 | 2,485
O, my Sallah meat!

I no go ever forgot dis year sallah. Since wen I run comot for my village, Ogbomosho come Lagos becos of Arike, I never enjoy sallah like dis for Lagos.

I no ever go anybody house go do sallah before becos I dey always see am as long troat.

Na im make, every odun, if I no wan put my guonguoro for road, I go just relax for house with my family.

But yesterday I go gbadun gan.

Idowu our Union Treasurer invite all of us for our garage wey dey for near Ikeja under bridge. E say make we come do dis year sallah with im family. Na im make none of our union member show face for our taxi park yesterday wey be di main di main odun. All of us dey Idowu house for Egbeda.

Before I reach Jimoh house, all our union member dem don show. Dem say na Akpan first arrive, follow by Emeka before orders. Na me appear last.

By dat time, Idowu and im family don go prayer ground come back. As e come, e quick, quick organize Alaye Boys dem make dem kill di ram wey e been go buy for Mile 12 market last week.

Before you close your eye open, dem don kill di ram, pump air full im body, pour am hot water and begin use razor blade scrap di hair comot for im body, butcher am and pass am to sisi dem make dem cook am.

E no reach two hour, sallah food don ready.

Idowu first serve us Our Usual one by one. Idowu sabi wetin every body dey shack. Na so Idowu nack every body four bottle each. Tori Olorun!

Small time Idowu family serve us food. Come see di big, big meat for inside di food!

Me I eat iyan and efo riro. I chop di poundo sote my belle wan burst.

Na dat yesterday Idowu show us all im wife and im pikin dem.

Idowu marry four wife, and each wife born twins for Idowu. One of di wife sef born twins two times. Dat mean say Idowu na Baba of 10 pikin, dem nearly be di same height – and all of dem na woman pikin. Olorun Oba o!

I come dey talk am for my mind say which kind magic Idowu dey use wey be say any woman wey e just touch small, na twins e go born. Idowu wey be say im nyansh flat pass foot mat o.

Anyway sha, after we don shack and chop finish, Idowu still give everybody sallah meat for take away.

I reach my house for Abule Egba around 8 o’clock pm in di night.

I park my guonguro, comot my sallah meat keep on top of my guonguoro, lock di guonguoro door. I say make I rush go piss for our face-me-I-face-you toilet wey dey for backyard. As I piss finish, I knock di door, na im my first woman pikin Bisi open door for me.

I enter room, I no even remember to comot my shokoto trouser and jumper wey I wear go Idowu house. I jump inside bed. Na dis morning I wake up see say even di shoe wey I wear still dey my leg for on top of bed.

I remember my sallah meat. Nobody for house gree say I bring meat come back for night.

Na im I rush go outside make I go check for inside my guonguoro. I check inside, check up, check down, check every wia. No meat. I check under di guonguoro sef, still no meat. So, na who come carry my sallah meat?

Make we jam again on Friday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

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Sunday, June 22, 2025 9:18 PM
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