As my village elder dem enter my guonguoro siddon finish, na im me sef jump enter driver seat.

I put key for hole, open ignition. As I wan start, come hear di kind sound wey di engine make. Tori Olorun!

Me, I kukuma be original mecho nah. Sebi una sabi say wen I run comot for my village for Ogbomosho come Lagos becos of that wicked Arike papa, na mecho work I first learn before I begin drive taxi.

I open di bonnet to check wetin for make di engine no gree start. I check oil, oil dey. I check water, water full for radiator. Fan belt dey dia and petrol full tank. I check fuss box, everyting complete.

I go back go enter and try to start again. As I just turn di key, di engine answer one time. I comot go close di bonnet wey I open.

As I close my driver door say make I put di engin for gear one and move, na im I see say di motor don bend go one side. I go down again, I check and see say di two tyre for front don go down patapata. Olorun Oba o!

Na im di first elder, Segun wey siddon for front seat say: “Femi, na wetin dey happen? Make we dey go nah.” I tell am say we go go, but make I call vulcanizer, say di two tyre for front don flat.

I tell all my four village elder dem make dem come down make vulca come fix di two tyre. Come see as dia face come strong.

Di way all of dem take squeeze dia face, any small pikin wey look dia face go convulse.

Na wetin I go do? I just dey beg dem make dem no vex, say my guonguoro don over tey, dat’s di reason why I dey plan to follow do Uber after later.

I say make di four both of dem go siddon for di bench wey dey for our garage. As dem dey waka dey go, one of di elder say make I do quick o, say dem dey go back to village today. I tell am say no troublem, I go do quick.

Na im I run go call di vulca wey dey for one corner for inside Anifowoshe. As I reach dia, di vulca no dey. I ask di madam wey dey sell fufu near am, di fufu woman say vulca don go im pikin school, say teacher pursue di pikin say e never pay school fees and exam don reach.

Na im I quick, quick rush go anoder place for Agege Motor Road wey anoder vulca dey.

To waka from Anifowoshe go reach dat second vulca place no be small ting o. Okada wey I for carry, dem no gree make okada dey run. Na so I dey waka, dey run sote I begin sweat like Xmas goat wey dem wan roast for fire.

I manage go reach di second vulca place after 30 minute. But di vulca talk say e no fit follow me go my garage wey dey for near Ikeja under bridge. E say e get plenty work to do and my garage too far. I beg di vulca tire, e no mind me. Eledumare!

By dis time, e don dey go two hour since wey I tell my village elder dem say I dey go find vulca to come fix di two front tyre dem.

Na wia again I go find anoder vulca go for dis Ikeja? If I say make I go use spare tyre for one, what about di second tyre? My broda, I tire.

Na im I begin waka go back garage weda I go see any of our Union member dem to borrow me im own spare tyre make I use for one and use my own spare for di second.

By dis time, dat afternoon sun don dey hammer me for head ti-ti-ti, and na so I dey waka for road dey talk to mysef like craze person. All my troat don dry patapata but to tanda buy pure water drink, no time.

Wen I reach for garage after di long trek wey take like anoder one hour, my village elder dem no even allow me find anoder spare tyre, all of dem stand up say dem want go back to village, say time don go well well.

Dem say make I no worry to carry dem go my house again, say dem go tell me di message wey Kabiyesi send dem.

Di message be say, Kabiyesi wan make me Balogun of our village, so I must lef Lagos and come back to live for village latest by dis December wey dey come so.

Dem say no need to ask me weda I gree or not becos na our village Ifa talk say na me di gods say I must be Balogun.

And dem say to be Balogun, I must marry second wife. Dem say dat one no be troublem becos di Ifa don already choose second wife for me.

As dem give me Kabiyesi message finish, dem no even wait make I reply. Dem don dey go back village be dat.

Since dat day, I don dey tink dis matter sote I don lean finish. Bonga fish sef fat pass me now. Everybody dey ask me wetin dey worry me, but I know fit talk.

How I go talk? Se na my wife Bose I go begin tell say dem don already marry second wife for me for village?

No wonder Bose see for vision say danger dey.

Abeg my people, make una advise me how I go take handle dis matter.

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.