No kind of person wey no dey for Lagos. If you want good person, e dey and if you dey find bad person, dem dey jabrata.

Anybody wey be good person for Lagos, e go over good. And anybody wey be bad person for Lagos, na im be say dat one dey share di same room with Lucifer.

Dat’s why dem dey talk say Lagos na Center of Excellence.

Example be say, any taxi driver for Lagos na excellent for di hole world, and any thief, winch or ashewo wey dey Lagos, na excellent worldwide too. If na lie I talk, make I baf naked for bafroom.

Na so I carry one passenger like dat yesterday. Di bobo enter our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge. If you see dis bobo, you go just conclude say na complete gentleman be dat. And I sure say any sisi wey im chase go just gree for am kia kia. Di bobo tall and fine, no be small.

Na so di bobo say make I carry am for drop go National Stadium for Surulere. I tell am my price, e gree. I tell am make e enter, di bobo jump inside front seat. We don move be dat.

We no reach Maryland wey I notice say di bobo dey shift, dey come near driver seat well well.

Wen I look am, e go shift go back. I tink say na mistake e make but wen I notice say e don dey do am plenty time, na im I ask am why e just like to touch my body. E say sorry.

As we reach stadium, di bobo say make I no drive inside, e say make I just clear for near di stadium gate make e come down.

Di bobo pay me and come down. Wen I raise my body up small, say make I put my guoguoro for gear and move, I notice say all di pocket wey dey for my buba and shokoto don open mouth like fish.

I stop and look all di pocket well well, I shock to see say di 6000 naira wey I carry comot for house dat morning don vamus. Na my wife Bose give me dat money make I helep am buy red handbag , bring am for am wen I dey come house dat night.

Quick quick, I stop my guonguoro, jump out and begin run pursue dat my passenger. If you see di kind speed wey dis bobo carry for leg, jet fighter sef no near am.

As I dey run dey pursue am, I dey point hand dey shout, “Ole! Ole!! Ole!!!” Trust Lagos people nah, everybody for di stadium follow dey shout Ole, dey follow me pursue di bobo.

Di bobo wan run, but dem catch am. Wen dem search am, dem see di 6,000 Naira inside di brown envelop wey Bose take rap am give me for morning.

I tell everybody say na my money wey di bobo thief. I show dem as e take razor blade cut my shokoto trouser and buba wen I dey drive am come.

Na so dem begin land am blow left, right and center. Dem naked am and e come tanda like di day dem born am – stark naked!

As dem want hang am tyre for neck to take burn am alive, na im di bobo begin cry like new born baby.

Na di Olopa dem wey just arrive with dia motor be im saviour. Tank God say dem give me Bose money back. Na wetin I for tell Bose say happen to im red handbag money?

Olopa trowey di bobo inside dia Hilux van and take am away make people no kill am. Me sef begin go my way.

Ole! Onyoshi!! Barao banza!!!

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.