Wahala too much for dis world. Man go dey im own jeje, order people go just carry dia own troublem come. Wetin sef ?

Yesterday, I carry passenger to go drop for Lekki. As we reach Oworonshoki, to take go IBB Bridge, den enter Victoria Island and begin face Lekki, na im my phone begin ring. Una kukuma sabi how all dis chinko phone dey loud wen e ring.

My passenger shock wen di phone first ring. As I look am for face, I see say afraid catch am well well. Na im I tell di bobo make e no vex, I say sebi im know as all dis China torch light phone dey hala wen e ring or message enter am.

Di phone dey ring ti-ti-ti-ti, I no wan pick di call as e be say I dey drive. And di person wey call no wan stop. Di phone just dey ring dey go. Na im my passenger say make I pick my call nah, say di ting dey disturb am gan. Dat time we don climb IBB Bridge.

I tell my passenger say I no fit pick di call as I dey for steering so. Di bobo say make I park and receive di call. I ask am weda im be JJC for Lagos.

How I go park on top IBB Bridge begin receive call? Dat one,  all dis LASTMA,  Road Safety, Maja Maja, Yellow Fever and Olopa wey full for road dat morning go just take me do ntanta. And di phone sef no gree stop to ring for dat bridge wey long like no man business. Tori Olorun!

Immediately we cross di water, reach di order end wey be Lagos Island, na im I park my guonguoro, den pick di call. I see say na Idowu dey call me since.

I ask Idowu wetin dey happen wey e no let my phone rest. Idowu say two visitor dem dey wait for me for garage. E say dem enter garage as I just drive comot.

I ask am wetin dem say be dia name, Idowu say im no ask dem dia name, but na one mama and one bobo like dat. E say di mama dey very lean and di bobo carry bie bie for face like Osama Bin Laden own.

I say make Idowu tell dem say I carry passenger go Lekki, say if dem really wan see me, make dem wait for me till I come back.

I drop my passenger for Lekki, den begin drive back to Ikeja. As I reach garage, Idowu say my two visitor don waka enter for Ipodo. E say dem just tell am say dem dey come.

I park my guonguoro, open di door, comot go siddon say make I take breeze small. I buy one pure water wey cold well well drink.

As I just finish to drink di pure water, na im di mama and di bobo enter garage. I look di mama ti-ti-ti, di mama look me. E come close and begin look my face, my head, my hand and my leg. Me sef dey look im lean body.

Di mama smile, e hold me for hand and call me, Rotimi! I call am Arike! Na so we rush and embreast oursef.

See as Arike come old finish. Arike wey we dey go night school togeder for our village Ogbomoso. We dey for Standard 5 togeder. Di next ting Arike talk dat time be say I give am belle. And na only once I touch am o. 

Arike papa na one ogbonge babalawo for our village, di man wan take juju finish me for village dat time, na im make I run come for Lagos, come learn mecho work finish, den come dey do dis taxi driver work wey I dey do so till today.

Arike ask me say so I be taxi driver now, I tell am say yes. E say I never old at all, say I still look like dat young boy wen we dey for village night school.

E ask me weda I don marry, I tell am say I don marry tey tey, say I get two woman pikin wey wan enter uniservity, sorry university sef. Arike look di bobo with goatie bie bie, di bobo look am, den di two both of dem come look me.

I ask Arike why e come old like dis, e say hmm, na long tori o. E say e been marry but e no born for di man. E say di man na Baale for village and e been marry seven wife join am, making dem eight wife all togeder.

E say wen di man die four year ago, di pikin of di order wife dem wey all of dem don grow finish, marry and born dia own pikin dem, come drive am comot for di Baale house as e no born for di man.

I ask am about im papa, Baba Arike. E say im papa don die tey tey. I come talk am for my mind say so Arike papa wey wan take juju finish me for village don die? So babalawo dey die?

Arike say now im dey live with im man pikin and im family for village. I ask am who be im pikin, e point at di bobo wey come with am.  I say "Shoooo,  you mean say na you born dis man? So na you born dis Osama Bin Laden?"

Arike say di man name na Rotimi jnr, say dem give am my own name, say na im be dat belle wey I give am dat time for night school before I run comot for village. Olorun Oba o!

Na im di Osama stand up, call me daddy! I tell am make e shut up! I ask am Who be your daddy? I tell Arike say if na play make e stop am o. Abi e wan scatter my family?

Arike begin cry. E say e go kill imsef if I no take my son. E say di bobo don dey worry am tey tey make e show am im papa.

E say Rotimi jnr talk say if e no carry am go show im papa,  make e (Arike) pack comot for im house, lef am alone with im family. E say na di main di main ting wey make am old finish be dat. E say dat’s why dem find me come for Lagos.

I ask Rotimi jnr weda e marry. E say e marry two wife and di two both of dem born 10 pikin for am. I ask am which work e dey do, e say im be chairman of agbero for Ogbomoso garage. E gbami o!

Na im I come calm down becos I see say na real troublem dey come for road so. I tell dem make dem go back to Ogbomoso and come back dis Saturday. Say I go carry dem go my house make we sort out everyting.

Na so I take discharge dem be dat o. Saturday ko, Sunday ni. Make dem begin travel come for election day weda na dem be Buhari.

But my people, dis one pass me o. Abeg make una advise me, how I go take handle dis kind matter?

Make we jam again on Friday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.