Before I siddon sef for Jimoh birthday party dat Saturday, one sisi like dat come ask me which food I wan chop. E say iyan, amala, fufu, eba, ewedu, efo, gbegiri, all dey.

I tell am make e bring me amala and ewedu. Before I open my eye, di food don land. Come see orisirisi meat full plate - shaki, bokoto, edo, roundabout, telephone wire. In short, orisirisi Eran dey dia.

Na so one bobo just nack me 5 bottle of shack at di same time, to take wash di hole ting down. I no know who tell am My Usual.

Small time, Jimoh come our table, come greet us. E come with 7 sisi. All di sisi dem, old and young, kneel down greet us. Jimoh say na im wife dem be dat.  All of dem wear di same aso ebi with Jimoh.

Di next ting, di MC begin announce say:

“Let us welcome Nigeria’s numero uno taxi driver in our midst this evening. He is a man many people are dreaming to meet one on one, but he is right here with us. He is the Honorable Secretary of the Taxi and Cab Drivers Association of Nigeria, Ikeja, Lagos State Branch, of which the celebrant of tonight is the Chairman. He is here with his Union’s EXCO members to rejoice with us. Please let us all rise as we heartily welcome the one and only

Oga MAT!!!”

As MC just mention my name, e come be like say dem put fire for Jimoh birthday party. See as everybody rush come my table to shake hand with me.

All di sisi sef rush come embreast me. Tori Olorun!  Everybody say, so na di Oga MAT wey dey nack all di sweet sweet tori for inside newspaper be dis?

Na so band begin play, and na so all di sisi and bobo dem begin dance with me. Instead make I spray dem money, na dem come dey spray me. And na so I just dey dance, dey throw my Agbada upandan. I dance all di Old Skul music wey band play sote my waist wan break. But I enjoy am, no be small.

As I go siddon for my seat to continue with My Usual, come see as all di paparazzi wey dey for dia just dey take my picture ti-ti-ti. I come talk am for my mind say so na me be dis? Na like dis people like me, ordinary taxi driver? Olorun modupe lowo re o!

Wen time reach for Jimoh to dance, come see as dollar dey fly left, right and center. All di politician dem wey dey dia turn di place to campaign ground. Una kukuma sabi say election na next week. And dem sabi say if dem get us exco, dem don get our Union be dat.

I sure say no how no how, Jimoh go don make like 10,000 dollar for di party. Naira nko?  Dat one just dey flow like River Benue.

Dat’s why, wen I reach house dat night, I no fit sleep. I just dey tink how me sef go do my birthday party quick, quick too. After all, what is good for di Kanda is also good for di Pomo. Who no like better ting?

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.