Dis Lagos na wa. Di kind tings wey man pikin dey take im mouth see for Lagos road in di curse (olorunmaje) of my duty, my eye no fit talk am.

No wonder dem dey talk am say Lagos na center of excellence. And na true, Eko no dey carry last for anyting. Weda na amu robber o, gbomo gbomo,  jibiti, in short all di orisirisi tings,  good and bad, Lagos na center of excellence! And di ting sef don enter dis election wey dey come so.

Na so dat my buka girl, Sikiratu come meet me dis morning for my garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge.

Una kukuma sabi say e don tey wen I see Sikiratu last. Since dat Xmas day wey e do body double, come my house for Abule Egba in di form of boy, we no see again. I even been ting say Sikiratu don take style port go im village. I don call im phone tire, e no dey ever go since den.

As Sikiratu come my garage dat dis morning, I no quick sabi am. Di girl don step up, I swear!  Come see di ogbonge Brazilian hair wey dis girl carry for head!  Shoe nko? Dat one na Italiano. Hand bag o, wrist watch o, even di clothe wey di girl wear, all na imported. Tori Olorun!!!

If no be say I sabi Sikiratu well well, I no for know am again, even as e paint im face reach. Di girl change, no be small. Sikiratu don become senior babe over night.

As I see am,  I just rush go embreast am. I call am Sikiratu!!! My broda, Sikiratu warn me, e say make I call im name like dat again. E say level don change. E say if I want call im name now, I must to put Honourable first. E say im name now na Honourable Sikiratu. Honourable?  I ask am which kind Honourable be dis nah.

Na im di buka girl tell me say e don become politician. E say e jam one big man like dat wey sponsor am, say na im godfather. Sikiratu say e want contest dis election as Honourable Member of State House of Assembly. Sikiratu? State House of Assembly? Olorun Oba o!

I ask Sikiratu which day e go school wey go make am tink dat kind ting. Sikiratu say make I dey dia dey do smesme make train pass me. E say now, im don get im WAEC, Diploma and even Degree wey im take join politics. Na so I just tanda open my mouth as Sikiratu dey nack me di tori.

Di next ting be say, Sikiratu say e want charter me for di hole day. E say I go use my guonguoro carry im boys make dem go round Lagos and paste im campaign poster. E no even ask me how much I go charge am for di charter. Sikiratu open im handbag, bring out 100k for me, e say im boys will meet me for garage 7 O'clock a. m tomorrow.

I no know wen I fall down, lie flat for ground, and just continue dey hail, “My Hounorable! My Honourable!! My Honourable!!!”

Make we jam again on Friday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much

And tank you very, very much indeed.