Our garage dry yesterday, no be small. Passenger no just dey. Dis Uber wey dem bring come for dis our kontri don spoil business for we taxi driver, no be small. Before na BRT, now na Uber. Se dem no want make we taxi driver chop again?

As I no see passenger to carry for drop, na im I say make I follow my order union member dem play Draft. As I dey play di draft, my mind no comot for my family.

I dey tink wia I go from see food money give my wife Bose wen I reach house for night. I dey tink how Baba Briamoh, my landlord, go troway my load for outside if di quit notice wey e give me expire next week. I dey tink wia I go see money take buy Form for my two pikin dem – Bisi and Funke – make dem follow take di next JAMB and GCE. In fact, my mind just hang for up as I dey play di draft. No wonder Idowu, our Union Treasurer, just take me do yeye, e beat me reach four time for di game, but I no mind, after all na becos passenger dem no gree show face, day’s why I follow dem play.

Small time, na im one bobo like dat just land for garage. My belle come sweet, no be small. So, at last passenger don come! But di bobo say im dey look for Oga MAT. I first do like say no be me, but everybody for garage come dey look me like say dem drink Lucozade.

See dis my people o, how dem go just give me out like dat wen dem no know wetin be di bobo mission? If na DSS or dia senior broda, Boko Haram nko? But afraid no catch me becos I sabi well well say my hand clean. Over clean sef.

Na im I come ask di bobo why im want see Oga MAT. E ask me weda na me be Oga MAT. I come talk am for my mind say dis one na original Naija man. Ask Naija man one question, e go take two question answer am.

Wen I come gree say na me be Oga MAT, di bobo say na one producer for Surulere want see me, but e say im no know why im oga want see me. I ask am wetin im oga dey produce, e say na film. I say oh, you mean cinema producer? Na im di bobo begin laugh.

I tell my people for garage say make dem use dia phone take me and di bobo photo, in case I follow am, and I no come back, becos orisirisi tings na im dey happen dis days o.

Wen me and di bobo reach di producer place, come see people full every wia. Na sisi dem plenty pass, with orisirisi size and shape. Tori Olorun!

Di kind clothe wey some of dose sisi dem wear, Olorun Oba o! E better sef make dem no wear anyting at all. After, na dem go still dey shout say bobo dem want rape dem o.

Na im di Oga Producer tell me say im want do one big film like dat, and im want make I do my taxi driver work for inside di film. E say everybody sabi me as number taxi driver for dis Lagos, dat’s why dem chose me to play dat part. E say my money na 200k. And e go also pay me 100k for use of my guonguoro. Total 300k.

I no know wen I begin speak in tongue. I shout, “Chineke me e!” Na only God know wetin e mean. Na for Emeka mouth I dey hear am. My broda, see as my head come swell up, e come be like say I want run mental. Only me, 300k for dis Buhari time?

So, I don become cinema star be dat? So, small time I go come be like Ebubedike, Olu Jacob, KOK abi Aluwe?

Olorun modupe lowo re o!

(To be contd.)

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you

Tank you very much

And tank you very very much indeed.