Apostle Israel Uhwonuwoma Oku is the Presiding Pastor and Founder of Home Builders Church, with its headquarters in Lagos, Nigeria. He is also a conference speaker, marriage counsellor, pastoral caregiver, lecturer, and the Director of Inter-ministerial Relations of the Pentecostal Fellowship of Nigeria, Lagos State.

Oku has a varied background. He hails from Okpe in Isoko North, Delta State, but was born in Lagos, where his father, the late Rev. Abada Oku, worked at Shell Petroleum.

The wife, Mrs Goodness Agnes Oku (née Omoigberale), was born on October 25, 1951, to the late Mr and Mrs Joseph Omoigberale from Esan in Edo State.

The couple got married 50 years ago at the ages of 29 and 25 respectively, and are still together, with their marital relationship remaining strong. Their marriage is blessed with six children, three males and three females. Interestingly, all their children are happily married and living with their respective families.

How they met

According to the husband, the girl he initially wanted to marry was living with her parents in Ibadan. One day, he left Lagos to visit her with his people, and on their way back, he met Goodness on the same bus he boarded. They struck up a conversation as if they had known each other before. Fortunately, Goodness was travelling to Ajegunle, Apapa, Lagos, the same place he was going.

When they alighted at the bus stop, they exchanged contact addresses. It happened that the house where Goodness was staying with her uncle on Baba Street, Ajegunle, Lagos, was not far from where he lived on Mba Street. Thereafter, they started visiting each other. As a result, their relationship grew stronger until they got married.

Beginning

Their beginning was tough, but as time went on, things began to improve as a result of their cooperation and commitment to their marital journey.

They admitted that they never knew they would eventually get married because they used to quarrel a lot initially. However, when they began to see good qualities in each other, they developed an interest in one another and, along the line, got married. Today, they can be counted among couples who enjoy a peaceful and long-lasting marital relationship after 50 years, which is indeed exemplary.

What kept them together

It is a known fact that it is not easy for two people from different cultural backgrounds to live together as husband and wife for up to 50 years. However, with tolerance, patience, understanding, respect and the grace of God, that can be achieved.

In the case of Apostle Oku and his wife, these qualities have remained the foundation of their marriage, and they have held on to them despite the challenges.

Their advice to bachelors and young couples

The couple advised younger bachelors not to allow anyone to find a wife for them, stating that every man should choose a wife for himself and bring whomever he has found to God for perfection.

According to Apostle Oku, “If your wife is an extrovert, you should take it. God brings couples together from different backgrounds and orientation, so that they could study each other and come up with what they want by themselves. And when they come together, they find a way to forge ahead. There is no perfect marital relationship, all we need to do is have God as our foundation and guide.”

He told younger couples to be themselves and not act in their homes based on whatever their friends tell them out there. They should also deal with every issue within their capacity and not under any influence.

Also, he advised men not to allow themselves to be pressurised into marriage, as there are so many things that work against such. “There is need to be patient and careful because over a period of time, every marriage will start to improve.”

Apostle Oku explained that no one could say that immediately he saw his wife, he knew, or God said she was his wife. So, anyone who says so is not sincere because God does not recommend a wife to anyone. Rather, there is always a time when couples come together.

“Again, in marriage, you do not say this is the way it has always been. There are always changes. I would say that my wife is intelligent and understands when things go wrong. That is one of the secrets behind our success in marriage.”

For his wife, Goodness, women should be role models and always put their heads down in their marriages. They should avoid comparing their husbands with other men.

“One important thing that holds marriage together is respect. Any woman who is disrespectful to her husband, should not expect love and peace in the home becausee there will always be misunderstanding.

‘It is unfortunate that young couples of nowadays do not heed advice. They act on what they see in the home videos, forgetting that the actors and actresses in the home videos do not do what they act. So, as women and humans, we need to be ourselves and see marriage as an important institution that deserves to be handled carefully, with understanding, respect, tolerance and fear of God.” (The Sun)