I have taken time to study successful people in different generations and those who survived them and the conclusion of my study is that success is an individual thing and not sexually transmitted.

Assuming that success is sexually transmitted, people like Senator Jimoh Ibrahim whose father was a bricklayer and his mother a petty fish seller would have probably become a local hunter in one of the forests in Ondo State or a farmer, living from hand to mouth.

The same with Tony Elumelu the Chairman of United Bank for Africa (UBA), whose mother was frying and selling beans cake (akara), when Tony was growing up.

But what is very painful is that a lot of people are carrying on with the mindset that success is sexually transmitted, therefore, since they were born poor, they have being destined to be poor and because of that they have failed to put in the works that would transform their lives for the better.

Their belief being that no matter how hard they try, they would end up being poor, simply because they come from poor background.

These are people with fixed mindset and it is because of them that Bill Gates declared that,

“If you were born poor, it is not your fault, but if you die poor it is your fault.”

A study of successful people in different generations like I said above simply showed that success is an individual thing and never runs in a family.

The reason being that we are the architects of our own lives.

Put in another way, our life is what we make it and never what others make it.

That is the reason why in today’s world, while the children of the rich are getting poorer because the wealth of their fathers have given them comfort, which is the biggest killer of success, the children of the poor are breaking boundaries and getting richer because they are hungry for success because they don’t want to be like their parents.

In fact research has shown that in the last 30 years, people who came from poor background are doing far better than people who came from rich background.

So, if you are from a poor background and struggling in your business, know it that it has nothing to do with your background.

That your father was or is poor does not in any way mean that you will be poor.

The same way that success is not sexually transmitted, poverty or failure is also not sexually transmitted.

I have heard some people who when you mentioned Aliko Dangote, they would say that his mother is from Alhaji Aminu Dantata family, that is why he is rich. If you mention Femi Otedola, they would say that his father was Michael Otedola, former governor of Lagos State.

If you mention Mike Adenuga, they would ask if you know his father?

For this kind of people, success is sexually transmitted. So, if you are not from a rich background, you are off the rich list.

However, we must realize that nobody here on earth was born to be anything because at birth, our mind is in a state of table rasa or emptiness.

Therefore, whatever anybody becomes here on earth is what he consciously or unconsciously chose or learned.

For those who don’t know, success begins when you rise above fear and negative mindset and keep trying to become the best in whatever you are in.

Like I said above we are the architects of our own lives. So, our life is what we make it. So, where you are coming from is not important. What is important is where you are headed.

Therefore, start whatever you have passion for with confidence and keep on working on it. No matter how hard life treats you, never give up. Rather keep on fighting. It is not how many times you fail that is important but how many times you stood up.

You must also learn how to take risk. There is a saying, no pain no gain and the bigger the risk, the bigger the gain. However, it must be a calculated risk. You may not win immediately but if you continue to push, definitely you will win.

You should know that there is nothing wrong with failing or failure. A lot of people are afraid of failure. But what they don’t know is that failure is not the opposite of success, rather, it is part of it.

When you fail and learn from your failure, you become better and stronger. So, it is all about you and never about your background.

The most important of all is that you should have a growth mindset, because like I said in my column last week, everything starts from the mind, that is what you think.

The Holy book says what you confess, you attract. But what a lot of people don’t know is that everything we think comes into existence. So, you should only be thinking of good things if you want good things to be coming into existence in your life.

Psychology tells us that how you think creates how you feel and how you feel becomes an emotion. Emotion becomes a vibration and vibration becomes a magnet that attracts all the things that you think. So you must protect your emotion and be having only beautiful thoughts. At least most of the time, if all the time is not possible.

Bye and see you next Saturday. Until then please don’t let hate win. Be a love warden.

•Peter Anosike has a doctorate degree in Consulting and Profit Management. He is the founder of Ultimate Entrepreneurs academy, an organization that trains people on how to become successful entrepreneurs. Contact number: 08035779230 (Please SMS Only)