Emonena Akwara, a lawyer, author, and founder of the My Ability in Disability Foundation, who faced a life-altering stroke at 23, shares with TEMITOPE ADETUNJI her story of resilience amid debilitating challenges and her mission to raise awareness about stroke and disability

How did you suffer a stroke?

The stroke happened just a month after my call to bar.

What signals did you get to indicate that something was wrong?

Before the stroke happened, I had been unwell. I went to the hospital because I wasn’t feeling fine. I had pain in my leg and generally felt unwell. At the hospital, they told me I had anaemia and possibly sepsis. They asked me to do a scan, which revealed that I had Deep Vein Thrombosis. After that, they prescribed a drug called Warfarin. The very first day I took Warfarin was the day I had a stroke.

What happened was that I already had an infection in my heart, and that was the root cause of the stroke. The infection, combined with the medication, triggered a rupture in my heart, which sent a blood clot to my brain. That’s how the stroke happened.

It took almost 24 hours for me to get proper medical attention. That night, my cousins took me to the first hospital, the same hospital that gave me Warfarin. But they had no idea what was wrong with me. They just placed me on a bed upstairs and continued with their night. When someone has a stroke, time is critical. You have about four to five hours to either save the person’s life or prevent permanent disability.

What happened the following day?

The next morning, my cousins moved me out of that hospital and took me to two other hospitals. Both rejected me because they suspected what was wrong but knew too much time had passed. They didn’t want to risk adding to their death rate. Eventually, they took me to a popular hospital, but they said they didn’t have any available beds. However, they ran some tests and confirmed that I had suffered a stroke.

All this time, I was drifting between being conscious and unconscious. Finally, the popular hospital referred us to another hospital, and that was where I was admitted. I was unconscious for about three days before I woke up in a hospital bed. From the time the stroke happened to when I received proper care, nearly 24 hours had passed. By the time I started recovering, I couldn’t even speak. Honestly, talking to you now is a miracle.

My entire right side was shrinking badly. I couldn’t talk; I couldn’t remember my mum’s name, or even my name. That was nine years ago. I had the stroke on November 27, 2015. It was incredibly tough trying to recover. I can’t even fully explain how I felt. But I made up my mind that I wouldn’t let myself become depressed. I decided I would fight, and that’s exactly what I did.

What is your health condition now?

Now, I can walk and talk, though my right side still has some issues. My right side still has some limitations. I limp a bit when I walk, and I still struggle to use my right hand fully. But apart from that, I’m okay.

Then, in 2018, my mum died from chronic kidney disease. She was my caregiver after my stroke happened. I’m her only child. I have half-siblings, but mum was my everything. There’s nothing like your own mother.

When I had the stroke, she couldn’t believe it. Who would? Her daughter was just 23 years old at the time. She was constantly worried and stressed. Her blood pressure would shoot up to 260 or 270 — extremely high. She was shutting down her body without realising it. Before we knew it, she was diagnosed with chronic kidney disease. To be honest, I’m still surprised that she didn’t have a stroke herself.

When did she pass?

November 21, 2018, was exactly three years after my stroke. My dad had passed in 2009.

Some people believe that if you have a disability, you may not find true love. How did you meet your partner?

I met him in 2021 at a pop-up store in Lagos State. My family friend was at the pop-up store with her husband, and my husband happens to be a cousin of my family friend’s husband. They offered to drop me off because they lived farther than I do.

We got talking in the car, and the topic was about death, but I wasn’t bothered since I had already lost mum and dad. We continued talking and eventually exchanged numbers. We met in November 2021, and by the end of 2022, he asked me to marry him. We got married in May 2023.

How did you cope with all of this — losing your mum, still recovering from a stroke, and being an only child?

First, I stayed strong. I trusted God completely; I made a conscious decision not to fall into depression, from the day I had the stroke to the day my mum died. I stayed focused on healing myself and trying to make the world better in any way I could. I’ve seen firsthand what stroke does to people. It indirectly took my mum’s life because of all the stress, and she was my caregiver.

I had every reason to break down, but I didn’t. I knew there was a reason I survived. Even though I now live with a leaky heart valve because of the rupture, I just keep going. I’m still on medications to regulate my heart, but I came out stronger.

What were your first thoughts when you realised you had suffered a stroke?

When I collapsed that night and was rushed to the hospital, I heard a small voice inside me, saying, ‘I would come out of this even greater.’ So, when I finally realised I had a stroke, I told myself, ‘I’m coming out of this.’

Stroke is often associated with older people. As a young, vibrant professional, did you ever think something like this could happen to you?

No, never. But It happened. Now I know this is part of my purpose; to educate young people that stroke can happen to anyone. Through my advocacy, I’ve even met a 17-year-old Nigerian boy who had a haemorrhagic stroke.

Stroke doesn’t respect age, status, or goodness. It can strike anyone. So, we must take care of our health. That’s why I strongly advocate stroke awareness even more than general disability advocacy. I want to prevent what happened to me from happening to others.

As a lawyer and public speaker, communication is at the core of your work. Did the stroke affect your speech or cognitive abilities?

It affected everything. When I felt strong enough to return to the law firm where I worked, I realised I couldn’t even do the simplest tasks. My brain couldn’t process things. I had forgotten everything I learnt in law school, even how to draft documents. After three months of struggling, I quit. I couldn’t keep accepting a salary for work I wasn’t doing.

So, are you still practising law now?

No, but I’m a lawyer forever. I passed the bar, but I don’t actively practise. The stress of relearning everything would be too much. Now, I run my own business.

What kind of business?

I rent beach houses, short-let apartments, cars — everything you need to enjoy life. Apart from that, I’m a speaker and author. I just launched my second book called ‘Hey, I Spotted a Stroke.’ It’s a children’s book because I believe even kids should learn about stroke and health.

Was there any point you felt like giving up?

Just imagine if I had decided to give up; but why would I even give up? My mum was already sick when I had the stroke; you could tell from my story. You know chronic kidney disease progresses in stages; from Stage 1 to Stage 5. So, I kept thinking that if I give up, where will I go?

I didn’t have anyone who could pause their entire life just to care for me. So, I told myself, ‘I have to move on.’ I have to do my best to share my story and spread awareness. A lot of stroke survivors tend to give up easily. Do you know why? It’s because they often have people around them to fall back on. Yes, I have people too, but the truth is, nobody wants to dedicate their life to cleaning up someone else’s mess, and I understand that. That reality motivated me. My life motivated me.

What were some of the most ignorant or insensitive comments people made after your stroke? And how did you respond?

There were many! People called me a witch. They even called my mum a witch. There was a time I signed up for a gym membership, and I was going regularly to exercise my body. Of course, people noticed my limitations, there were things I couldn’t do. Apparently, people gossiped about me, but I didn’t know until much later.

I found out after hosting a seminar in Warri, Delta State. One of the attendees used to see me at that gym. During the seminar, he told everyone how proud he was of me. He also confessed that back then, people around the gym used to say maybe I did something ‘bad’, and that was why I had the stroke. I just laughed. He said seeing me now, he knew none of that was true. That is life.

Another common thing people said was that I should go to this church or that pastor for deliverance. People would send me links or give me pastors’ phone numbers, but I always asked myself: do I really need this? No, I don’t.

That phase is behind me now. I’ve immersed myself in knowledge. These days, it would be very hard for anyone to come and suggest a pastor or spiritual cleansing to me. Look at what I’m doing for the world; I’m making an impact. Do you really think what I need right now is a pastor’s number?

To my knowledge, nobody talks behind my back anymore. They see me as a beautiful woman who had a stroke, and they see how I’m turning my mess into a message. Back then, it was tough because I couldn’t do much. But now, I’m active, I’m living, I’m thriving. That chapter is over.

Some people hear disability and immediately think limitation. Through your foundation and personal story, what’s the biggest myth you want to correct about stroke survivors?

People survive cancer. People survive all kinds of conditions. So, why should stroke be any different? You don’t just give up because you have a stroke.”I’m working to change that mindset. It’s working; stroke survivors message me on Instagram to say how much my story inspires them.

Even people who aren’t stroke survivors tell me they draw strength from my page. When they feel down, they say to themselves: if Ena can do this, why can’t I?

The second myth is the one that affected me. It is the belief that I must be a witch, or my mum must be a witch. No, we are not witches. I just had a stroke. That narrative is common, especially in underserved communities, and that’s where I’m focusing my work now. The highest number of stroke cases comes from these communities, and the myths are strong there.

People need to understand it’s not about witchcraft. Sometimes, it’s simply poor health management. They don’t know the right foods to eat, and they think healthy eating is expensive. But it doesn’t have to be. Vegetables like ugwu and spinach are affordable. Basic knowledge can save lives.

Looking back, are there any lifestyle habits or medical signs you ignored before your stroke that you wish you had paid attention to?

Absolutely! One of the biggest messages I share now is the importance of regular check-ups. At least once a year, use your birthday week to check yourself out. People avoid hospitals because they are scared the doctors will find something. But isn’t it better to know early? Before I suffered a stroke, I thought I was the healthiest person ever.

I jogged every morning until the pain in my leg got too bad. I ate well, but what I didn’t know was that I had a heart infection. Do you know the most painful part? That heart infection could have been treated with just antibiotics for six to eight weeks. That’s all! A simple infection left untreated changed my whole life. If I had gone for regular check-ups, this could have been avoided. That’s why I stress it so much now. Even if it’s just once a year, please go to the hospital and check yourself out.

What was the most frustrating physical or mental challenge during your recovery process?

My recovery process was relatively smooth because I had patience. There were days I couldn’t speak, and I just accepted it. I Intentionally stopped talking for a while because nobody could understand me anyway. I embraced patience. There were many challenges — I couldn’t walk or stand for a while — but I kept telling myself: one day, I will stand. That positive mindset carried me through.

What are you grateful to God for?

I am grateful for life; I am grateful for being where I am today. (Sunday PUNCH)