Sikiratu ask me for phone weda I really love am. I tell am say e know say I love am.

E ask me make I swear say I no get anoder girlfriend. I ask am wetin agbaya like me wan take all dis Lagos sisi dem do.

Sikiratu ask me say if na true, wetin be im position for my life.

I tell am say sebi e know say I marry. So my wife Bose position na number one. Den, Siki Babe na number two.

Sikiratu say e wan dey for number one. E say any day I close for work go home, my wife fit dey for number one. But any time I comot for house, make I know say na im be number one. Tori Olorun!

I no come know wetin I go talk. Sikiratu say "Hello? Oga MAT are you there? Talk nau, sweetheart."

I no come know wetin I go answer am. And I no wan make dis phone sweet talk for dis cold weather end.

I come tell Sikiratu say no wahala, I gree with everyting intoto. Na so Sikiratu begin kiss me for phone piom, piom, piom. E say make me sef kiss am back. My broda, na wetin I go do?

Na so everyting for my body come stand like Standard Bank. And I come dey shake like Shakespeare.

But wen we talk finish, I come dey talk am for my mind say:

If as we dey talk for phone, e come be say Sikiratu dey record am nko?

If anoder person come hear all di ting wey we nyan nko?

If na true say Sikiratu dey record my voice, and one day person come leak am to Bose nko as dose cinema babes do dat Abuja politrikcian di order day?

As dat one just enter my mind, na im I call Sikiratu back kia kia. But di line come say, "The number you are calling is switched off. Thank you."

I try ti-ti-ti-ti, na di same ting up till now. Olorun Oba o!

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.