I no know say dose LASTMA wey dey control traffic for dat Allen Junction see everyting wey dey happen. One of dem, woman LASTMA open di back door of my guonguoro and jump inside. E say make I clear for road and park well.

Di sisi no even let me talk, e tell di woman LASTMA say I wan kidnap am, na im make e come dey struggle with me. Say if no be as di traffic light stop me, I for don carry am reach Ijebu tey tey.

I carry hand up make I return di two dirty slap wey dis small pikin give me, na im di woman LASTMA hold my hand for air. E say make I calm down first.

Di woman LASTMA begin face di sisi. E tell am say everyting wey e talk na lai, say nobody wey no sabi Oga MAT for di hole area.

Di LASTMA woman call two Olopa wey dey follow control traffic for dat Allen Junction. As di sisi see Olopa with gun, e begin shake like Shakespeare.

Di Olopa dem talk say dem see wen di sisi grab me for my shokoto trouser and give me two dirty slap. Dem ask me wetin I do am.

Na im I nack dem di hole tory: how di sisi say make I carry am go Ketu. How I wan take Alausa, pass toll gate, pass MKO Abiola Garden, enter Ikorodu Road and go drop am for Ketu. How di sisi begin drag me say I must turn back go Ikeja Roundabout, go take Maryland den go Ojota to Ketu.

Di Olopa ask di sisi weda e be taxi driver, di sisi say no. Dem ask am which day e come Lagos, e say na last week. Na im dem tell am say, person wey don dey do taxi driver work for Lagos since before dem born am, and person wey just come Lagos last week, na who go sabi road pass. Di sisi say na di taxi driver.

Dem ask am which work e dey do, di sisi say im be business woman. Which kind of business? Na im di sisi begin stammer. Olopa tell am make e come down for search. As dem open di sisi purse, come see short gun. Olorun Oba!

So na dis criminal I dey with inside my guonguoro since? Tori Olorun!

Olopa say make di sisi lie down flat for ground. Trust Lagos, by dis time everywia don full, people don gather.

Na im I ask Olopa, Se make I slap am back? Everybody begin laugh. Olopa O/C say make I no worry mysef, make I no come be anoder slapping sinator. E say di sisi na ogbonge criminal and e fit be say e been wan kidnap me na im make e wan make I pass anoder route.

Now, now, now, Olopa don land with dia pick up motor. Dem push di criminal sisi inside.

Di O/C look me, smile and tell me say: “Oga MAT, dey go your way. We sabi say you be better person. We go take care of dis criminal for station.”

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

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