Everyone knew he was a ‘born again’. Looking back now, I suspect he wanted everyone to know. It was something he wanted to wear on his sleeve. He didn’t have the flamboyance of a guy whose job brought him in contact with Advertising Agencies and Marketing Executives of big companies. His dressing was neat but understated. He didn’t have that temperament of a street guy which one would expect from a field worker. He also didn’t engage in ribald jokes which was common in the newsroom. You were more likely to hear him say ‘God bless you’ than hear profane words out of his mouth. To crown it all, a bible was never too far from him. It was his badge, his identity. His colleagues made fun of this straight and narrow approach to life but must have respected his disposition. He would in fact, be his colleagues’ obvious choice to take care of the till were there to be a collection of funds. He was in charge of small and classified ads for our publication. He seemed to be doing a decent job of it until he was caught skimming money. The company’s policy was to discourage cash payments as much as possible from clients to eliminate fraud. He violated that policy so he could extract discretionary or arbitrary commissions under the guise that a client wanted ‘something’ for himself’. When the ‘evidence’ was laid out before him and a decision was about to be taken, he started running helter-skelter sending emissaries to me. His defense was that ‘it was the work of the devil’. My stock reply to such pleas has always been that ‘the devil tempts people in their areas of weakness’.

I had very little patience with people stealing in my younger years. I still do, but the fact that I abhor stealing in whatever form, or that it is not a weakness I have, does not make stealing the ultimate weakness. Age and constant re-introspection make me admit that stealing just ranks among many of man’s weaknesses. Some of which I am guilty of myself if I am to be honest. For example, we all want to be liked. We all want to be praised. But adulation can be a weakness if not checked. Nobody wants a disloyal employee or a disloyal spouse. But it should not be at expense of being told the truth. Being told a spade is a spade and not a garden tool, should not be seen as disloyalty however uncomfortable that truth makes one feel. Someone has to stop a king from disrobing himself when heading for the market place. Many leaders have allowed their love of adulation and their definition of loyalty to strip them naked in the public space. The consequences have been dire for both the leaders and the led. Every self-respecting individual should have a measure of self-worth. It is a measure of character. It also defines what we regard as shameful. It serves as a safeguard against many of life’s weaknesses by maintaining a threshold. But the line between self-worth and pride can easily be crossed when people succumb to adulation and uncensored loyalty. And pride is the most encompassing, the most damaging of all human weaknesses. For example, fame, wealth, ambition and power are in themselves good for man because they can be harnessed for the public good. They also promote self-worth. But an unchecked lust for them and an unbridled pursuit of them become a weakness. Many have destroyed others through their pursuit of fame, power, pleasure and wealth. Worse, many have destroyed themselves. Besides, they almost always lead to pride which is like a cancer of the soul.

It is easier to see the weaknesses of others just as it is easy to see the front door of a house. The front door is the façade; the exterior. It is in any case how we want to be seen. It is the recognized entrance to our home, our comfort zone. So it is usually, the most fortified part of the house. The things we do; the things we want others to see us do, represent the front door to our soul, our being.

The back door is an interior, hardly seen by visitors. Only those who are part of the house or regarded as being part of the house are privileged to see, let alone make use of the back door. It is therefore, the least fortified part of a house because it is unobtrusive and allows for a quick exit. Experienced robbers look for the back door when they want to gain access to a house. The things we do not want others to see; those vulnerable parts of us represent the back door to our soul. Our weaknesses and moral failings represent the back door to our being. Power, wealth, pleasure, fame and even money are legitimate pursuits of man. They are part of the front door. However, the extent to which we are willing to go to achieve life’s ultimate desires represents the back door if it becomes uncontrolled; if it blinds us to social ethics and virtues. Just as the robber looks for the weakest part of the house, so does the devil look to tempt us in our areas of weaknesses.

We have to learn to lock the back door if we do not want to be guilty of hypocrisy or deceit. Worse, if we do not want our souls to be ravaged and our inner peace destroyed due to our vulnerability – because the end does not always justify the means when all is said and done at the end of the day. This can be done through constant examination of our conscience and self-worth. It is in admitting that most of the weaknesses we see in our leaders and even our neighbors are also in us waiting for circumstances and opportunities to manifest. So we need to be humble as we examine our motives and priorities. We also need to be introspective when criticizing others – political leaders, community leaders, church leaders, friends and even neighbors. ‘There, but for the grace of God, goes I’ says a timeless adage. Unfortunately, pride makes self – introspection almost impossible. We should therefore, not allow pride, with its blindness, its sense of entitlement, lead us to a ‘Humpy-dumpty’ fall.

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