Original suffer head

Rain don start again and every wia don dey look one kind for Lagos. We taxi driver no dey happy any time we see say rain wan fall. How we go happy wen be say if one drop of rain jus reach ground kpere, everybody go took off for road, you no go see passenger ra-ra-ra-. Apart from dat, wen rain fall, man pikin no fit put im guonguoro for road make water no swallow am. Dat’s why, if I dey for road and heavy rain begin fall, I must to park my guonguoro and wait till di rain stop.

Na so one bobo like dat come our garage wey dey near Ikeja Under Bridge come take me for Drop go Alagbole. As we jus comot for garage, di hole sky jus turn to night. Di next ting be say rain don start be dat, and no be small one-o. Come see water everywia for road. Person no know wia be road and wia be gutter again. I tell di bobo say make we park, e no gree, instead e begin speak oyibo. E say im no wan any waste of time, say e must to catch 2 O’clock flight back to Abuja wey im dey work. E say why I go tell am say make we park wen we never reach wia we dey go, weda I no sabi say na bridge of contract be dat. I wan ask am say which bridge im dey talk about, weda na IBB Bridge abi na Alagbole Bridge but I keep quiet.

Di bobo jus dey talk and na so im mouth dey do ta-ta-ta-ta like typewriter. As we pass Ojodu Berger small, enter dat Grammer School road wey go link us to Sabo, na so di bobo come shout “Bull Shit!” I ask am wetin happen, e shout “Stop, stop, stop!” I say hope noting. E say “F. . k you! I say stop and you are asking me bull shit” I look back make I see which kind ant bite am for nyansh, I come see as di bobo carry one side of im nyansh up like say e wan mess. Wen I look am well well, I see say all im trouser don soak for nyansh. Tori Olorun! All di rain water wey dey for road don enter from under my guonguoro, come soak di seat wey my passenger siddon for inside!

Na so I find one place like dat park. Rain still dey fall wa-wa-wa-wa and for us to come down na wahala. Na so we remain for inside and di bobo come dey take grammer dey curse me ti-ti-ti, grammer nearly finish for im mouth. I no jus answer am. Before we open eye, water don full inside my guonguoro sote e nearly reach us for neck. All our body bury for inside water wey rush enter di guonguoro. Di bobo come dey shake like Shakespeare and na so afraid begin catch me.

I come look up and na so Eledumare come give me idea. I manage carry my hand up and pull di roof of my guonguoro, di ting jus open and di two both of us manage climb go siddon for on top di roof of my guonguoro. Di bobo no come get mouth again. Instead e say, “Bros, na wa-o! Na how we go come do dis kind ting now? So we don peme be dat-o.” Tank God say small time di rain come stop and di road come dey dry small, small. As we come down from di guonguoro roof, di bobo jus stop okada and took off.

Dat day na original suffer head we dey. I swear!

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