As human beings, we are all creatures of habits. A habit is something you do regularly, often without thinking about it because you have done it so many times. It is something you are accustomed to and you do constantly and consistently.

Habits can either be positive or negative, good or bad, right or wrong. A positive, good or right habit is something that is worthy of emulation while a negative, bad or wrong habit is something that someone does regularly that others find annoying or disgusting; it may include over eating, excessive drinking, too much sleeping, drug abuse/addiction, sex addiction etc.

There is no way you can really succeed or remain a success if you are prone to negative, bad or wrong habits. In these series, we are going to consider how habits are formed, and how to form success habits.

It is very important to realise that your habits determines your limit (the extent to which you can succeed in life). Your habits will either limit you or take you to a higher summit in life. Your habit also determines what you emit (what you arbitrarily do without giving it a second thought). Your habit equally determines your habitat (where you find yourself per time).

How do people form habits? Habits are formed through any of the following ways: customs, traditions, practices, conventions, learned behaviours, and they can also be hereditary.

Customs are usually some things which have been done for a long time by a group of people in a society and which have become a norm. For instance, it has become a custom for both primary and secondary schools to do an inter-house sports competition every year.

Traditions are similar to customs but may be older and passed down from parents to their children and from generation to generation. There are some traditions that don’t allow someone who is younger but who already has a suitor to get married before his or her elder ones. Such a person is made to wait endlessly for an elder one who only God knows when he or she would find a suitor, not to even talk of when he or she would eventually get married. This can be a very frustrating experience.

Practices are the usual ways of doing things in business, professions, homes, and religious organisations, etc. For instance, it is a common practice for lawyers to attend law school before being allowed to practise. Similarly, medical students must also do their housemanship before being allowed to practise as medical doctors.

Conventions are generally accepted rules of behaviour guiding people’s actions. For instance, it’s a matter of convention for people attending funerals and the bereaved family to wear dark clothes.

Learned behaviours are formed basically through observation and through trial and error. This is formed through observing a role model. Children can also pick up a behaviour by observing their parents, which is why parents are advised to show good examples to their children and the elderly ones must do likewise for the younger ones. Parents who always quarrel or fight in the presence of their children will end up breeding hostile and brutally aggressive children. Such children turn out as bullies and may grow up to become dictators and tyrants.

There was this story of a child who was taken to a departmental store by his parents. They bought him several gift items and on their way out, the child stopped and pointed to a toy but the parents ignored the child, having spent so much and far above their projected budget. The child began to cry profusely and uncontrollably. The parents appealed to the child to stop crying and promised to get him the toy some other time but the child refused and kept on crying. All their efforts to persuade him were to no avail.

The child insisted that he wanted the toy at all cost and said to him parents, “If I don’t get that toy, I would stay here and do something stupid.” About five minutes later, the youngster walked out of the departmental store with a toy under one arm and with a self-satisfied smile on his face.

Should such a child be continually encouraged and rewarded for threats and temper tantrums, these tactics will become ingrained in the child’s approach to life and that child may grow up always seeking to control, manipulate or intimidate other people into doing what he wants. Parents should please take note.

Habits can also be hereditary. It is important to realise that certain qualities, traits and abilities can be passed from parents to their children or from grandparents to their grandchildren. Such qualities, traits and abilities tend to mould behaviours.

However, we must realise that it is the highest level of insanity to keep doing something the same way and expect a far different result. If we must succeed in life, we must seek to do things differently. You can’t make a difference if you don’t seek to do things differently. You can’t become an outstanding success if you don’t break free from habits – customs, traditions, practices, conventions, traits and learned behaviours – that place a limit on you and hinders your progress in life.

The big question is, how do you break bad habits? You’ll find out in this new series. See you in the next edition.

OUTSTANDING SUCCESS with David Gbayo

*David Gbayo is a motivational speaker, counselor and consultant. You can invite him for your seminars, conferences, convention and other specialised programmes.

Update news