Newsexpress banner Camano banner
The quest and the treasure, By Onyeka Onyeibor

By News Express on 23/08/2017

Views: 984

I have a very competitive son. A game of tennis is only good if he wins, and always bad when he loses. Against his elder brother, he loses often. Every loss brings him a long tear. 

Every victory brings him a radiant smile. I watch with little interruption his expression of both extremes of emotion. How do I teach him at 10 to be magnanimous in victory and graceful in defeat? A quote in the Looney Tunes cartoon came to the rescue: ‘It Is The Quest, Not The Treasure’.

Quest is desire. Treasure is crown. Quest is what we give. Treasure is what we receive. One of life’s greatest mysteries is that victory is not to the strongest, the boldest or the fastest. Life often does not give what we demand, desire or deserve. If that is true, what is the point in striving? Should we stop demanding, desiring or deserving? No! It is tragic to engage life with less energy and less enthusiasm than we possibly can. 

Treasure is important. Who the quest makes us is more important. A degree certificate is good. Its quest brings the virtue of devotion, discipline and diligence. Of what benefit is a certificate when learning is not evident? It is quest that gives meaning to treasure.

Victory moves our soul to dance. It makes us feel good, well and worthy. Many will covet that spotlight of excellence and the illusion of superiority it confers. Winning may mean I am better than the other. If I am better, I am good. Defeat is the reverse side of victory.

It leaves us sad, isolated and bitter. We often appropriate victory to ourselves. I made it! Capital I. We disburse defeat to others – “the teacher gave me F9.” 

In defeat, the illusion of comparison also applies. A damaged window doesn’t look too bad if the gale that broke it blew off my neighbour’s roof. But how does the size of the other man’s misery scale up my joy. If I am hungry, finding a man who is hungry and homeless, a situation undeniably worse than mine, brings me no comfort.

Man thrives in comparison. Joy and sorrow are not absolute.  We evaluate both in relation to the people around us. The danger with comparison is that it provides single dimensional view of relative performance. Purpose and potential are not in the menu.  Winning a 100-metre race is victory. Winning a 100-metre race in 11 seconds, when you can do so in 9 seconds, is suboptimal. Winning it in 9 seconds, when your purpose in life is orchestra is less-fulfilling. 

The Loony quote taught my son that all that matters is not the end. He must compete. He must do all he can. He must desire victory, but always remember that full effort is full victory. If he must compare, it must be with his personal best, and not the other lad. Comparison with others is the mother of all grief. The richer man’s gold should not make him sad. The poorer man’s misery should not make him glad. He must learn that the goal of contest is not victory over others, but victory over self. The ultimate victory is to be the best he can, to rise as many times as he falls. There is no defeat for sunrise, and no end for hope. 

Today, no matter how the game ends, he walks to the other side of the table to shake hands, and two brothers will say in unison: It is the quest, not the treasure!

Onyeibor wrote in from Lagos.

Source News Express

Posted 23/08/2017 3:39:04 PM

 

 

CLASSIFIED ADS

 

You may also like...
2019 election budget likely to be passed in...

Stowaway found dead in Arik Air’s wheel

Obama called up for jury service

NiMet predicts sunny, hazy, partly cloudy weather today...

Mrs. Obiano’s CAFE gets international recognition

DSS bows to Chief Magistrate, produces Radio Biafra...

Dickson demands probe of death of son of...

Vampire’s juju man falls into police net

Flood sacks 12 communities, destroys 3,000 farmlands in...

Missing oil revenue increases to $22.8b •NEITI exposes...

Okowa dissolves DESOPADEC Board

Human waste can power light in millions of...

 

Latest News EFCC investigating Okorocha, others — Magu Communications Minister in multimillion naira contracts scandal Adamawa, Kano, Ogun, Oyo top list of Buhari’s aides Insecurity: Service Chiefs have got to go — Prof Odinkalu Anglican Church sacks four homosexual priests Governors Forum chairmanship: PDP governors reject el-Rufai Only disruptive entrepreneurs can save Nigeria’s economy — Ekeh Footballers, fans feared dead as boat capsizes Senate leadership tussle gets messy UN General Assembly Presidency: Nigeria’s Muhammad Bande outlines vision FAAN gets new MD Trump threatens ‘the official end of Iran’ as tension escalates

 

Most Read NUDE PHOTO OF OMOTOLA JALADE-EKEINDE surfaces online (480,362 views) Nigerian female sex addict opens up, says ‘I like it with both men and women’ (419,517 views) Shameless Genevieve Nnaji exposes breasts in public (358,014 views) Finally named: The full list of friends of Nigerian female sex addict who prowled Facebook (306,097 views) OLUMBA OLUMBA OBU (the one who called himself God) IS DEAD (270,407 views) Igbo scholar disgraces Femi Fani-Kayode •Demolishes claims on Igbo/Yoruba history with facts and figures (241,345 views) Breaking News: POPULAR REVEREND CONVERTS TO ISLAM in Kaduna (Nigeria) (229,265 views) OBJ’s son reported dead in Lagos plane crash •Names of more victims emerge (211,002 views) 10 cars more expensive than Jets (202,436 views) My wasted years in Olumba Olumba Obu’s Evil Brotherhood (200,284 views) THE FINAL DISGRACE: Igbo scholar unleashes more facts about Igbo/Yoruba history, finishes off Femi Fani-Kayode with second article (181,331 views) Lagos plane crash: Journalist releases victims’ names (181,280 views)

 

UBA Wise Savers Promo

 

Categories Advertorials (3) African Press Organisation (81) Art & Literature (91) Business & Economy (4,269) Business Verdict (71) Columnists (1,031) Complaints & Requests (95) Enterprise & Opportunities (208) Entertainment (614) Features (752) Global Business Monitor (362) ICT Monitor (43) International (3,465) Interview (179) Live Commentary (29) Love Matters (161) Maggie's Blog (268) News (46,330) Opinion (1,242) Pidgin (17) Politics (10,799) Religion (1,004) Sports (2,009) Stock Watch (39) AMA & Al Jazeera Global Update

 

 

 

 

 

APO Group Partner

 

 

CLASSIFIED ADS

GOCOP Accredited Member

GOCOP Accredited member

 

 

Africa Media Agency and Al Jazeera