Posted by News Express | 10 April 2020 | 892 times
Since wen Oga patapata for Naija give us dis by force holiday, di only ting I dey do everyday na sleep, wake up, eat, sleep, wake up and sleep again.
No ask me weda na straight sleep abi na “bend-bend-sleep” me and Bose dey do. E no concern you.
Di only ting be say, afraid dey catch me make di small food wey we manage stock for house no come finish before dem say make we go dey hustle again. If di food come finish, hmm, na im be say person don peme be dat nau.
Na di ting wey I dey tink as I siddon for chair dey watch television for palour be dat.
My two woman pikin, Bisi and Funke, dey helep dia mama for kitchen wey all di 20 tenant wey dey live for dis Baba Braimoh face-me-I-face-you house dey use.
Di first news wey I see for television na as fire dey burn di main di main office of di oga wey dey control our Naija money. Tori Olorun!
Dat one no finish, dem come show as oga for Mali nearly scatter Shekau head – di same Shekau wey our Naija soja don use billions of naira find tipe tipe, dem no see. I say na wa o!
Anoder news na as people take di N100 billion bread wey gofment give dem to chop for dis Koro time, play like football for street. I say Olorun Oba!
By dat time di hole ting don tire me.
I wan stand up go inside bedroom go sleep again dat morning, na im dem show anoder news as 15 chinko doctor dem arrive for Naija airport.
I jus come dey force mysef dey watch di news dey go…
Di next ting be say, Jimoh our union branch chairman call me for phone say make all our union member come now, now, now for our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge.
Jimoh say as we dey come, make all of us wear suit and tie like oyibo.
I ask am how we go take drive from our house come reach Ikeja for dis Koro time wey dem say make everybody siddon for house. E say na gofment say make we come for airport but we go first assemble for our garage, den all of us go move to airport togeder for convoy.
I no wan begin ask plenty question as e be say na gofment matter. After all, sometin fit drop make we take shock our pocket for dis Koro time.
20 minutes no reach I don drive from my house for Abule Egba reach our garage for Ikeja as people no dey for road. I come talk am for my mind say shoooo! So, na plenty people and motor for Lagos dey make road be like say e too far?
All our union member dem don even arrive for garage before me. If you see some of dem inside jacket and tie, you go laugh sote water go begin comot for your eye.
Some of dem be like Mungo Park wey teacher teach us for Primary 5 for my village school for Ogbomosho before I run come Lagos. Idowu our union treasurer own na im bad pass. Idowu jus resemble monkey wey dem carry jacket and tie put for im body.
Jimoh come tell us say make we no waste time, make we line up begin drive go airport. E say gofment no tell am wetin we dey go do for airport, but as e be say na gofment ting, make we jus dey go.
Wen we reach for airport, we see say all di orisirisi union wey dey for Lagos complete for dia.
Na dat time dem tell us say we come to welcome 15 chinko doctor dem wey come Naija to helep us fight Koro. I come remember di news wey I dey watch for television for house dat time before Jimoh call me for phone!
As we line up, na im di 15 chinko doctor dem come dey shake our hand one by one.
One of di chinko doctor wey shake my hand jus look me ti-ti-ti, e come smile. E hold me for one hand, use di order hand open im hand bag and bring out one long needle like dat. E say e wan give me special Koro injection so dat Koro no go ever come near me all my life.
I come shout, Olorun Oba ooo …
Na dat time I hear as dem nack me for my back kpom kpom kpom. My two woman pikin, Bisi and Funke come dey shout, “Daddy! Daddy!! Daddy!!! What’s the matter? You are sleeping on the chair and shouting!”
Na so I stand up for parlour chair, enter bedroom, close di door, and begin cast and bind any evil chinko man for my dream. Olorunmaje!
Make we jam again on Tuesday.
Tank you very much.
And tank you very, very much indeed.
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