Posted by News Express | 31 January 2020 | 1,233 times
No be small ting dat evening o.
Na so di four both of us – Me, my wife Bose and our two woman pikin Bisi and Funke – jus dey sing and dance:
“He has done for me, he has done for me. He has done for me, he has done for me. What my father cannot do, he has done for me. What my mother cannot do, he has done for me.”
We sing and dance sote all of us come dey sweat. Small time, na im we come smell someting burn for fire. Bisi come shout, “Mummy, mummy! Di food wey you dey cook don dey burn!!”
By di time Bose run go backyard to check wetin dey for fire, everyting don burn finish.
Bose come back to parlour, instead make di food wey burn for fire pain am, e dey smile. E say make di food burn sef, after all our lucky don arrive. We go see beta money wey we go take dey cook beta food chop.
Funke come begin complain say hungry dey catch am. Come see di kind bad eye wey im mama take look am. Bose come tell our two pikin say, “Anybody wey hungry catch, make e go drink garri and sleep till tomorrow. Na wetin my darling husband go chop now na im be my concern...”
Bose no even talk finish wen Bisi and Funke shout togeder say, “Ehn? Drink garri? Lassa Fever!”
Funke come add, “Hmm, ‘my darling husband’ ke! Tank God for loan o!” Bisi and Funke come begin laugh. See as dia mama carry one big stick like dat begin pursue dem.
As Bose come back, e say make we lef dose yeye pikin dem, make di two both of us enter go discuss for bedroom. Na so my wife hold my hand enter room o. Olorun Oba o!
Di first ting Bose ask me for inside room na, “My darling, as our lucky don arrive so, how we go come use dat money?”
I tell my wife say make e wait make di money enter first. Bose say, “My darling no worry. Di money must enter, na wetin I don dey pray for since. Jus tell me how we go use di money.”
I come dey talk am for my mind say na wa o! See my wife wey dey call me “Baba Bisi, Baba Bisi” even for market. Now, e don change my name to “Darling” becos of money wey we no even see. Tori Olorun!
Na im I come tell my wife say wen di money enter, di first ting na to buy wetin dem give me di money for, wey be tear rubber car wey I go take dey work. And if di money remain, we go take am support Bisi and Funke wey wan enter university so, after JAMB.
Bose come say, “So my darling, you mean say you no get plan for me wey be your darling wife, after all dis year wey I don suffer with you? You mean say di money na for only you and your pikin dem? No, darling. You must open shop for me.”
Na so we hear as everybody for area come shout, “Up NEPA!” NEPA don bring light wey no dey since one week be dat.
Bisi and Funke rush inside and open television. Me and Bose still dey for bedroom wen I hear dem mention Cabby Finance Company for inside television.
Na im I lef Bose, rush go parlour to watch di news for television.
Come see dat my passenger wey give me di loan Form – di oga patapata of Cabby Finance Company! E wear only short knicker, no shirt for body, with handcuff for im two hand. Oga olopa for Lagos State parade am for television say na 419 kinpin and notorious amu robber.
I no know wen I shout Olorun Oba o, and fall down.
Make we jam again on Tuesday.
Tank you very much.
And tank you very, very much indeed.
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