Posted by News Express | 29 November 2019 | 863 times
As e point di gun for my head, di only ting wey comot for my mouth na “Eledumare shanu mi o!”
I come dey tink of my wife Bose and my two woman pikin dem – Bisi and Funke. I come dey tink wetin go happen to my guonguoro wen I don peme. I come dey tink who go come dey do my work as Akowe for our garage. Noting wey I no tink for dis my head dat very time.
Dis yankee bobo jus dey shout “Fuck you. Can’t you see how I’m sweating inside dis your gaddam cab? I mean, why can’t you install common A/C inside it? Don’t you know about climate change? And you made me to pay you my hard earned dollar? Ten good dollar for that matter! Fuck you mehnn!!!”
I tell am say yes sir, I gree, fuck me mehnn!
Di bobo come press di gun more, more for my head and begin shout, “If you utter one word again, I pump this hot lead into your gaddam head. Fuck you!”
Come see as di oyibo wife come dey hala dis bobo. As di oyibo woman dey struggle with di bobo to take di gun from im, na so di bobo dey press di gun for my back head more, more. Olorun Oba o!
Di next ting be say, I see for my sight mirror as di oyibo wife open hand bag, den bring out someting, and point am for im bobo head too.
“Comon mehn, give it to me,” Di wife tell di bobo.
“Honey, you wanna gun me down because of this son-of-a-bitch?” Di bobo ask im oyibo wife.
“I say give it to me!” Di oyibo wife hala di husband.
Na so di bobo come be like say dem pour am ice water. E hand over im own short gun to di oyibo wife, and jus mellow.
Di oyibo wife put back di two gun for im hand bag, and tell di Naija husband, “I keep telling you not to always over dope your brain. Take just a little of the powder and feel fine, but you won’t hear.”
Di bobo answer di oyibo wife, “I’m sorry honey.”
Den di bobo bend forward and tell me, “I’m sorry cab operator. I’ll make it up for you.”
Dis time we don pass Lekki Phase 2. Wen we reach VGC, as dem come down, di bobo bring out anoder $10 bill and put for my hand.
I no know wen I jus lie down for ground patapata, begin dey tank di two both of dem.
Olorun modupe lowo yin o!
Make we jam again on Friday.
Tank you very much.
And tank you very, very much indeed.
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