I don hammer! (2)

Posted by News Express | 28 May 2019 | 1,748 times

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I ask di oyibo woman wia I dey carry am go, e say make we dey go Sheraton Hotel. I tell am say I sabi di place well well. E say im sef sabi wia Sheraton dey, even as e no go dia before for im life. E say na di first time e come Naija be dis since wen e born for America 30 year ago.

I ask am how e take sabi wia Sheraton dey if e no come Naija since dem born am. Di oyibo say im dey look di Sheraton sef as we dey go so for road.

Afraid come catch me. I come talk am for my mind say I don carry oyibo wintch today for my guonguoro. I take style use corner eye look am, I see say di oyibo woman dey look im phone ti-ti-ti.

Im phone no be like dis my Nokia torch light o. Na big man phone e carry, and na only God know as e take dey see di place we dey go for inside di phone.

Small time, di oyibo tell me say im name na Jane. E say im papa and mama na big people for America, in short, e say Trump na im papa. I ask am who? E say Trump, di presido.

See as my body come dey shake like Shakespeare. I come dey look am ti-ti-ti like say I drink one drum of lookozade, sote I nearly drive enter bush. Me, carry Trump pikin for inside my guonguoro? Olorun Oba o!

By dis time we don reach Sheraton gate. I drive enter di compound. As I just march break fiam, some uniform worker dem for Sheraton rush come carry di load wey dey for inside my guonguoro.

My mind na to collect my money, begin rush go tell my Union people for our garage say I don carry Trump pikin today for dis my guonguoro.

But Jane come tell me say make I follow am go im hotel room for up.

I first tink say weda I no hear am well. I ask am wetin e talk, e say make I follow am go im room make we go dey discuss. E say na becos of me e come Naija, say im don dey read all Oga MAT sweet sweet tori dem for America,  dat’s why e tell im papa say im wan come meet dis Oga MAT face to face for Naija. And im papa arrange everyting for am here for Naija before e begin come.

My broda, I weak. So me and Trump pikin wan go siddon togeder for inside di same room for Sheraton dey discuss?

I come talk am for my mind say I don hammer today. I no know wen I begin dey sing praises . . .

Na so I come dey hear person tap me for my shoulder pom, pom,pom. Idowu say: “Oga MAT, dis one wey you come siddon here for garage dey sing praises, abi you don hammer for inside dream? Better go meet Iyalagbo now o.” Torin Olorun!

Make we jam again on Friday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

Source: News Express

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