Posted by News Express | 19 February 2019 | 2,424 times
Last week na helele for Naija, I swear! Di by-force holiday wey dey, na we taxi driver suffer am pass.
Everyting for my side dat week na by force - my wife Bose say we must do our own Val on Friday. Naija gofment say we must vote on Saturday - no work, no school, no business, no church, no mosque, noting!
Di same morning before we say make we go vote, dem say no vote again, but make we still siddon for house. Haba!
Na me dat ting affect pass. Dat Friday, me and Bose dey do by-force Val for inside house from morning. Wen 7 o'clock pm for evening nack, we enter my guonguoro begin go one joint like dat for inside dat our Abule Egba area.
I tell Bose say, as na so so born again im dey do, me I no go fit begin dey drink anyting wey go give me jedi jedi o, say I must to drink My Usual.
Bose shock me. E say na Val we dey, make I go on saun and drink anyting I like. My wife say imsef wan enjoy dat night.
Wen barman come, I order for my usual. I no even talk finish, Bose order for "Odekun". E say make di barman nack am two bottle at once. I no know wen I shout "Bose! Odekun?"
My wife ask me why I shout im name like dat for beer parlour. E say make I drink my own and make I allow am drink im own too, say after all, na Val enjoyment we dey. I no know say Bose get plan dat night.
Before we lef dat joint, me and Bose finish four bottle each, plus including Nkwobi, Asorted and Isiewu. To drive reach house sef come be wahala.
As we manage reach house, Bisi and Funke don sleep go. I use my spare key open di door. Bose rush enter room. E push me inside room and lock di door. My broda, I must confess, Bose give me TKO dat Friday night wey be election eve.
Dat Saturday morning na im I manage stand up for bed. I wake everybody up, say make we go vote. Bose say e don tire well well, say make me and our pikin dem go vote, say im wan rest.
I tell Bose say na lie e dey talk. I say after e don show me pepper finish for night, na now e wan come sleep. I say make e stand up kia kia before I count four.
Di next ting be say, Funke rush inside di room, say e read am for facebook say gofment don postpone election. I say shoooo! Post kini? See me, see troublem o!
Why dem wait till dat morning before dem tell us dis kind tory? I wan put my guonguoro for road, begin go our garage wey dey for near Ikeja under bridge make I try weda I go see even one passenger carry for drop. Funke say gofment say everybody must siddon for house, no movement. Tori Olorun!
I come talk am for my mind say, so I go siddon for house Friday and Saturday no work, no election? Wetin my family go chop? If dem sabi say dem no go do election dat day, dem for allow people go find chop money nah.
What of Idowu, our Union Treasurer wey im woman pikin don fix im wedding next week Saturday wey dem don carry di election go. Olorun Oba o!
Anyway sha, weda or wedan’t dem do election, man no care. After all, me and my darling wife combine Val and election enjoy am togeder.
Make we jam again on Friday.
Tank you very much.
And tank you very, very much indeed.
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