Posted by News Express | 15 January 2019 | 3,751 times
As I shout Olorun Oba o, di bobo say make I no make noise, make people no come begin ask wetin dey happen as we dey inside Go slow for Ojota bus stop.
I no fit control mysef, my head come dey turn and my two naked eye begin see double. Na only God know as I take dey control my guonguoro steering. Di bobo say make I try control mysef, say di ting wey I see na small sef.
We comot for the Ojota Go slow, reach for dat under bridge on di way to Ketu. I cross BRT lane, enter for service lane, branch off to climb di bridge, enter for Lagos/Ibadan expressway and begin face Berger.
As we dey go, di bobo say na im oga send am to bring di carton and everyting wey dey for inside, from one mallam wey dey for dat Costain area wey I pick am. E come tell me say im oga na wicked man, say if we reach Mowe and hand over di carton and all di ting wey dey for inside to am, na so im oga go tell am tank you, and im go go back empty hand. E say na so im oga dey treat am, say highest e go just give am small money make e take pay transport go back for Sango Ota wey im dey live.
I come ask am wetin im want do, e say im mind dey tell am say make we no go hand over di carton to im oga, instead make we find somewia go siddon share everyting wey dey for inside di carton, only me and im.
As e dey talk so, e take style open di carton small make I see wetin dey for inside again. Tori Olorun!
My broda, na so I come swallow saliva. My eye come jump up again. Di ting wey I see with my mouth, my eye no fit talk am. If I lie, my I baf naked for bafroom. I swear!
Only me and im go share all di ting wey dey dia? Come see brand new 100 dollar note wey reach like 50 bundle. Pure gold full one corner of di carton, den I come see one black fat ting wey coil for anoda corner of di carton. Di bobo tell me say na di python snake wey di mallam put make e dey vomit di dollar and di gold per second, per second. Na so di bobo shake di carton small, come see as di big long snake carry im head up, begin dey look me. I nearly jump comot for my guonguoro on motion for dat expressway.
Wen di bobo see say afraid catch me well well, e come say make I no vex, say im just want show me everyting as partner in di business.
E say me and im go share di dollar and gold di same, no cheating. Say im go even allow me keep di black python and e go tell me wetin I go dey tell di snake every midnight, make e just dey vomit di dollar and di gold yafuyafu.
E say di only ting be say me and im go drive go meet one Baba for Ijebu Ode, wey go give us someting to swear say we no go ever tell anybody how we take get money wen we don become rich. E say we go even get money pass Dangote and Adenuga.
Me – Baba – Ijebu – swear – money? Na dat time my eye come open fiaaa!
I tell am say no troublem, say I ready for everyting, sebi na money we dey find. I tell am say dis year o, God must to answer our prayer. Di bobo shout Amin!
As we reach Ibafo, na im I branch off, I enter for Olopa station wey dey dia. Di bobo ask me wia I dey go, I tell am say make e no vex, say I want give someting to my broda wey dey for dia.
All di Olopa for dat station sabi me well well. As I just drive enter, all of dem begin hail me Oga MAT! Oga MAT!! Even DPO come out. Dem say wetin I bring for dem dis new year, I tell dem say I bring new year customer for dem.
Na im I use eye signal DPO make dem search di bobo wey dey inside my guonguoro, my business partner!
I tell olopa dem all di sweet sweet tori wey di bobo tell me. As olopa dem empty di carton, come see everyting fake - even di big black python wey dey vomit di dollar and di gold na rubber snake!
As I hand am over to Olopa, I begin go do my work. Yeye man, e tink say I be all dose long throat people wey want be Dangote and Adenuga over night. Yeye orange!
Na so I take show di bobo say cunny man die, na cunny man dey bury am.
Make we jam again for Friday.
Tank you very much.
And tank you very very much indeed.
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