NLNG Corporate Excellence banner First bank campus storm Fidelity bank card banner Emerald Energy Institute Camano banner

How to find true love: Philosopher

By News Express on 09/01/2019

Gmail icon

Views: 2,849

• Aaron Ben Zeev, Professor of emotions
• Aaron Ben Zeev, Professor of emotions

Famous Israeli philosopher Aaron Ben-Ze’ev has argued in his forthcoming book that most of the popular ways to look for lifelong love are not good enough.

Ben-Ze’ev offers in his book “The Arc of Love” a unique approach on how to gain and maintain an enduring loving relationship.

The most crucial step is how to choose the right person.

The book will be released in June 2019 in the U.S. and Xinhua was the first to review the book and its ideas.

Ben-Ze’ev is the former president of the Israeli University of Haifa and founding president of European Philosophical Society for the study of emotions.

 He told Xinhua that building the foundations of deep love is difficult and challenging. However, an enduring love can be achieved.

There are four common ways to judge the potential romantic companion. The first will be the checklist method focused on superficial negative qualities. The second is love at first sight which refers to superficial positive attributes. The third method seeks to identify a major flaw in a personality, and once it was detected, the candidate is dropped. This approach offers more accurate results than the checklist, according to Ben-Ze’ev. The fourth strategy is to observe partners’ interactions and notice whether a partner brings out the best in the companion and help him or her to flourish in their daily life. “Today, the greatest weight is commonly given to the first and second methods, then to the third and in the end, to the fourth. The order should be reversed without neglecting any information gained in each method,” said Ben-Ze’ev.

One fundamental aspect of choosing a romantic partner is the weight that we give to bad and good qualities of the potential spouse. Negative emotions and bad feedbacks have more impacts than good ones. Accordingly, we are more motivated to avoid bad events than to pursue good ones. Establishing a checklist of desired qualities for a partner is a common practice, but it has massive flaws.
Love cannot be computed merely by mechanistically detecting separate negative and positive attributes. It is hard to detect positive qualities that are valuable for the long-term relationship, partly because they are more clearly revealed through shared activities that take place over time. It is ineffective to try to predict a successful relationship merely by calculating a partner’s qualities by following the checklist method.

As no one is perfect, it may often be easier to detect negative qualities in everyone than positive ones. On the other hand, people may get accustomed to the lack of positive characteristics. If we reject all those who have some flaws, we might remain single for the rest of our life, or end up marrying a person who has fewer positive qualities rather than someone we met at the beginning of our search. Therefore, if you realize that your potential partner is likely to bring out the best in you, you have a perfect reason to choose this person as your life companion. Although romantic love is vital for our happiness, love is neither a necessary nor a sufficient condition for a happy and thriving life. As it turns out, love is not all you need in life, though it is often a central part of it.

Aaron Ben-Ze’ev was born in Israel. He is married to Ruth and has two sons, Dean and Adam.

He received his B.A. in Philosophy and Economics (1975) and his M.A. in Philosophy (1977), both from the University of Haifa.

He was awarded his Ph.D. from the University of Chicago (1981).). His doctoral thesis was entitled “Perception as a Cognitive System”.

Five years after finishing his Ph.D. thesis, Ben-Ze’ev began to study the emotions, a topic that remains at the centre of his research today.

In this field he was particularly influenced by Aristotle (mainly his analysis of emotions as evaluative attitudes) and by Spinoza (in particular, his emphasis on the importance of change in generating emotions). The psychological work that has most influenced his thinking has been The Cognitive Structure of Emotions (1988) by Ortony, Clore and Collins.

Ben-Ze’ev has published many articles in this field, as well as several books. (NAN)

Source News Express

Posted 09/01/2019 05:10:18 AM

 

 

CLASSIFIED ADS

 

You may also like...
NHRC, NCWS sign MoU on protection of women’s...

Ex-OAU VC remanded in custody for alleged fraud...

CBN injects $210m into forex market

Kaduna begins recruitment of 1,000 health workers

NASS Resolution: Why Buhari must quit now —...

Obaseki wins Distinguished Peace Ambassador Award

Wike deploys more security operatives to Ogoniland

Senate frowns at neglect of due process in...

Stop killing Ogoni people, MOSOP tells FG, security...

NAF fighter jets kills 20, bandits, destroys logistics...

Crocodile Smile: Army preaches peace to warring Delta...

Gunmen kill 7 in yet another Kaduna attack...

 

Latest News Abduction: Kano Govt issues red alert to parents, guardians Exodus hits Bayelsa Govt., PDP ahead of Nov. 16 guber election •Ex-Deputy Governor dumps party for APC Minimum wage: Prepare for strike, NLC tells state councils Aisha Buhari: Why I had a prolonged stay abroad Men not exempted from breast cancer screening – Oncologist FG earmarks N792m for internet, live TV on presidential jet High cost of governance, lawmakers rebuff reform, mock Okorocha As electorate challenges Obiano on campaign promises Oil theft: Reps to summon service chiefs, NNPC Businessman slams N150m suit on Immigration over loss of passport Rain of tears: Flood sacks Lagos, part of Ogun We won’t embark on new road projects until… – Fashola

 

Most Read NUDE PHOTO OF OMOTOLA JALADE-EKEINDE surfaces online (550,237 views) Nigerian female sex addict opens up, says ‘I like it with both men and women’ (447,065 views) Shameless Genevieve Nnaji exposes breasts in public (394,483 views) Finally named: The full list of friends of Nigerian female sex addict who prowled Facebook (330,154 views) OLUMBA OLUMBA OBU (the one who called himself God) IS DEAD (298,683 views) 10 cars more expensive than Jets (262,461 views) Igbo scholar disgraces Femi Fani-Kayode •Demolishes claims on Igbo/Yoruba history with facts and figures (255,900 views) Breaking News: POPULAR REVEREND CONVERTS TO ISLAM in Kaduna (Nigeria) (253,133 views) OBJ’s son reported dead in Lagos plane crash •Names of more victims emerge (234,593 views) My wasted years in Olumba Olumba Obu’s Evil Brotherhood (220,706 views) Lagos plane crash: Journalist releases victims’ names (198,357 views) THE FINAL DISGRACE: Igbo scholar unleashes more facts about Igbo/Yoruba history, finishes off Femi Fani-Kayode with second article (195,615 views)

 

CBN milk production

CBN banner advert

UBA Wise Savers Promo

 

Categories Advertorials (3) African Press Organisation (81) Art & Literature (104) Business & Economy (4,486) Business Verdict (84) Columnists (1,126) Complaints & Requests (96) Enterprise & Opportunities (217) Entertainment (689) Features (829) Global Business Monitor (462) ICT Monitor (65) International (4,064) Interview (204) Live Commentary (30) Love Matters (173) Maggie's Blog (444) News (52,582) Opinion (1,393) Pidgin (17) Politics (11,557) Religion (1,109) Sports (2,192) Stock Watch (39) AMA & Al Jazeera Global Update

 

 

 

 

 

 

APO Group Partner

 

 

CLASSIFIED ADS

GOCOP Accredited Member

GOCOP Accredited member

 

 

Africa Media Agency and Al Jazeera