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God forbid bad ting!

Posted by News Express | 3 September 2019 | 1,139 times

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Na God dey protect us for dis taxi driver work wey we dey do so. If no be so, man pikin for don peme tey tey.

Na orisirisi passenger dem we dey carry for Lagos road every day. If you dey do like JJC, passenger go jus do you boju boju and collect your money, collect your taxi and if you no stand well, e go collect your shokoto trouser plus including your dross sef.

And na so you go jus tanda dey look am like say you drink lookozade.

To do taxi driver work for Lagos no be moi moi, I swear. If I lie, make I tanda naked baf for bafroom.

Di kind ting wey my mouth see on Saturday, my eye no fit talk am. I never see dat kind ting since wen I run come Lagos from my village for Ogbomoso, come do apprentice for mecho before I begin drive dis my guonguoro.

Na two bobo like dat come our garage wey dey for near Ikeja under bridge. Di two both of dem plait dia hair and wear earring like sisi.

Dem wear jeans trouser and dia T-shirt na sleeveless. Come see as dem take tattoo scatter dia hand like snake body.

Dem say make I carry dem for drop go Coconut for near Apapa Wharf. I tell dem my price, dem gree. In fact dem kukuma count di money pay me in advance.

I say make dem enter, di too both of dem enter back seat. Me, I jump inside my seat, open ignition, start engine and put am for gear one. We don dey go be dat.

I take Agege Motor Road, reach Oshodi and begin face Mile 2. From Mile 2 bridge, I begin fire am dey go Apapa Wharf Road.

Wen we reach Coconut bus stop wey dem dey sell all di orisirisi motor wey dem bring come for Naija, di two bobo say make I stop.

From wetin dem dey talk for inside my guonguoro as we dey come for road, I come sabi say di yellow bobo name na Don, di second one na Slick.

As I drop dem, I turn to begin go back to Ikeja. Na im Slick wave me make I stop. E run come meet me. E say make I no go yet. E say dem come buy car for Coconut, make I come helep dem choose better car for dem. E say as I be taxi driver, I go sabi di engine wey good if I hear am.

Dem pay for car park for me. We come enter di motor market.

Slick see one Prado Jeep, e say na dat one e like. I test am, every ting dey correct. Na so Slick wire N7.5 million with im iPhone6 pay for di jeep.

Don choose white Acura. I test am, na correct. Don sef wire N4.7 miilion. Tori Olorun!

I come talk am for my mind say, na wia dis small bobo dem from see dis kind money?

Di next ting be say, Don and Slick move go small distance to do short meeting. Dem come back and Slick tell me say dem like di way I drive dem from Ikeja come reach for Coconut here.  E say I sabi my work well well and dem wan make I begin work for dem as Chief Driver. E say if I gree, make I choose any car right now for mysef.  Just like dat? Olorun Oba o!

I come pinch my body to know weda or wedan’t I dey dream. I come see say na korokoro, no be dream.

Don point hand for one big car like dat. E call am American Spec.  E ask me weda I like am.  I tell am say I like am but dat we need to discus, no be say dem go jus tell me someting now, now, now and I go gree now, now, now. I say na long troat be dat nah.

I tell dem say:

1. I go discus am with my wife first

2. I suppose know which kind business dem dey do

3. Dem go tell me wetin go be my work as Chief Driver

Don and Slick come talk say na true I talk, make I go discus am with my wife first. Dem give me dia phone number, say wen I make up my mind make I call dem so we go come pay for my own car – di one dem call American  Spec.

Since dat day, I no know how I go take tell Bose dis kind ting. I sabi my wife well well. I know say lai lai e no go ever gree make I be Chief Driver for di two bobo dem, not to talk of make dem buy dat kind big car for me.

Bose mind be say if I get better work, drive better car and live for better house, I go marry anoder wife. Na im make some time I dey tink weda my wife na wintch.

But I come make up my mind say make I tell Bose yesterday wen I close.

Na im make I reach house quick dat yesterday. I baf finish, Bose give me food, I chop. I come tell Bose make e siddon, say I get wetin I wan tell am.

As I open my mouth make I begin tell Bose about my new Chief Driver work plus including my American Spec, na im I see Slick and Don for network news for television.

Dem don comot di two bobo dia clothe, with handcuff for dia hand and leg. Blood full all dia body. Oga olopa come talk for di News say Slick and Don na ogbonge armu robber wey dem catch Saturday night as dem dey operate for Obalende.

See as my face squeeze like say I bite stone for inside Abakaliki rice. Any small pikin wey see my face dat very time go jus convulse one time.

Bose look my face, look TV, look my face, look TV again. I no come know wetin I go talk.

Make we jam again on Friday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed


Source: News Express

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