Posted by News Express | 16 July 2019 | 1,457 times
E be like say my lucky don dey shine small, small. Dat vision wey my wife, Bose pastor see for me for dat cross over night for dia church don dey show face die die.
Yesterday we get seminar for Alausa. Dem bring all our taxi driver union executive for all di branch for Lagos togeder for gofment secretariat for Alausa.
We for our garage wey dey near Ikeja Under bridge decide say make we use one car go di seminar.
Everybody say make we use my guonguoro, but me? I no gree ra-ra-ra-ra. How I go come dey do driver again for my union member dem?
Wen we don argue tire, we come decide say make we use Jimoh taxi, after all na im be our branch chairman.
All of us select im best clothe wear. Jimoh wear agbada, Idowu wear French suit, Akpan wear trouser and one long top like dat, with south south hat to match. Emeka wear im Igbo native clothe with red cap, e even hold elephant tusk for hand like Igwe.
My own, hmm... I go down, down my box for house, go bring out di suit and one long tie like dat. Na as I dress di day wey I marry Bose I just appear.
If you see my shoe, tori olorun, you go comot for road make I no take am kick you. Na so di mouth of my shoe point straight to heaven. And I shine am well well dat morning. If you see me, noting go make you no believe say na me be minister of transport. I swear!
Idowu siddon for front with Jimoh wey drive. Emeka dey for left back seat, Akpan occupy center back while me I cool for owner corner. Atlist make anoder person drive me today, no be everyday I go dey drive order people. Abi?
Wen we reach Alausa, di hall don full. Come see everybody dress, if dem tell you say na taxi driver dem be, you no go ever believe.
Dem first register us and give us pen and writing book, den come give us tea with meat pie dat morning.
Sweet dey for everybody table, lick am as you like. Me I no touch am, na who dem wan take jedi jedi kill? I jump and pass!
Di first gofment official come welcome us. After dat, one oga from Road Safety come teach us traffic signs like say we no sabi am tele tele. Me wey don dey do taxi driver work for Lagos before di person sef born. Well sha, I just siddon dey listen. Wetin be my own?
Na so orisirisi official dem come teach us orisirisi tings – LASTMA, Olopa, VIO (dose wintch), Yellow Fever, Maja Maja, etc, etc.
By dis time, 12 O'clock pm in di afternoon don nack. Dem say make we go for lunch break. Dem carry us go for anoder hall like dat. Come see as dem line up orisirisi food for table. And Na serve yourself. Eledumare!
If you see as some people load food for dia plate, ehn! Nobody wan waka pass any pot, and na so some people pack di food sote di ting dey fall trowey.
Me I just take my poundo, efo and ori eja go one corner dey hammer am. After dat, I take one bottle water wash am down. All dis sugar drink dem full for dia, but di son of man no near any one. If e no be Panadol, e no fit be like Panadol!
Wen we go back for seminar hall, some people belle don full sote as dem siddon, na so dem dey breath like pussy cat wey use long throat swallow big toad.
Di next ting, one gofment official say make we stand up and welcome Oga patapata for Lagos.
Na so our belove gofnor, Oga Sanwo-Olu just waka enter, dey smile with im open teeth.
I come talk am for my mind say, so na me and Sanwo-Olu dey for inside di same place like dis? E come be like say I dey dream.
Oga Sanwo-Olu come tank us for our vote wey make am become Oga patapata for Lagos. E say dat’s why e organise di seminar to take tank us. E say and wetin we learn for di seminar go helep reduce traffic wahala for Lagos road dem.
Oga Sanwo-Olu come tell us say, im don arrange “soneting” wey dem go give us to take put fuel for our taxi as we dey go back.
At last, Oga Sanwo-Olu talk say before dis year finish, e go select some of us Lagos taxi driver dem send go America, to go learn and see how dose oyibo dey drive dia taxi for dia road.
Oga Sanwo-Olu come announce say, di first name for im list na Oga MAT!
Come see as di hole hall come dey hail me. Oga patapata for Lagos come shake my hand and take photo with me sef. (Una go see di photo next time). E say im dey read all di sweet, sweet tori wey I dey nack.
So, even Oga Sanwo-Olu sabi me? I don become international taxi driver be dat o! Olorun modupe lowoyin o.
Make we jam again on Friday.
Tank you very much.
And tank you very, very much indeed.
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