NewsExpress banner First Bank Fashion Souk Fidelity bank card banner Umm Sulaim's Thoughts Camano banner

Tori Olorun! Funke my pikin don carry belle!!

By News Express on 22/03/2019

Gmail icon

Views: 1,295


Na wa for all dis pikin dem wey person dey born now o. Dia wahala too much. If dem ask for someting, dem go talk say make you bring di ting now, now, now. Weda or wedan’t you get dat ting dat very time, e no concern dem.

Na so Funke, my second woman pikin come meet me very early yesterday morning wen I just dey prepare make I begin go our garage wey dey for near Ikeja under bridge.

Funke say make I give am N5000, na im I ask am wia I go see dat kind money for dat kind early morning.

My pikin tell me say e need dat money before 9 o’clock a.m. dat yesterday morning, say e want use am buy book  wey e go take prepare for JAMB wey dey come so.

 I ask am what of im senior sister Bisi own, weda no be di same JAMB dem want do. Funke say im sister own no concern am, na im own e sabi.

I tell am say issorite, make e wait till I come back for night, I say make e pray make I see plenty passenger carry dat yesterday.

Funke tell me say e no fit wait till I come back for night. E say e want carry di book go for lesson dat very yesterday morning. I say shoooo! Se make I go thief di money? N5,000 na small ting?

Na so I vex lef am for room, go enter my guonguoro and vamus. Which kind pikin be dis sef?

Tank God as I just drive dey go for one street inside dat our Abule Egba, na im one madam stop me. E say make I carry for drop rush go Epe. E say e get appointment for di local gofment council dia.

I tell am my price, e gree. I open passenger door for front, di madam enter. Na im I begin dey fire dey go.

My belle come sweet becos di road come free well well, no Go Slow anywia. We take IBB Bridge, enter V. I. to Lekki, to Ajah, den to Ibeju Lekki and enter Epe. All dis ting wey I talk so, e no reach one hour o. I drop di madam for Epe Council office exactly 7 o’clock a.m. in di morning.

Wen I dey come back from Epe, I say make I take Ikorodu. I no know say I don make baba nla mistake. Di kind Go Slow wey dey dat morning from Ikorodu to  Mile 12, e don tey wen I see am for Lagos road.

Before I reach our garage for Ikeja, hmm, I hear nwi. Di only ting wey I take happy be say, I see one passenger carry for drop from Epe to Ikorodu. I carry anoda passenger from Ikorodu straight to Alausa.

Wen I reach our garage for Ikeja, I follow Idowu, our union treasurer, siddon for bench. I tire well well . . .

I see Funke find me come for garage. I shout for im head why e go lef lesson, begin find me come for garage.

Funke begin dey cry. I ask am why e dey cry, e no gree talk, e just dey cry. As I look my pikin well well, I come see say im belle don swell up. Olorun Oba o!

I call am “Funke!” E answer me “Yes, Daddy!” I ask am, “Na who do am?” E no gree talk. I call am again, “Funke!” E answer me again, “Yes, Daddy!” “I say na who give you belle?” Di ting wey Funke come talk be say, “I’m sorry, Daddy.” Sorry ke. So my pikin don carry belle! Tori Olorun!

Na im I give am one dirty slap for face puuuaaarrr! I kick am for leg possaaahhh! I want land am anoder dirty slap for face, na im somebody tap me for shoulder. I hear . . .

“Oga MAT, na wetin I do wey you just dey hit me for my leg? Since wen you enter garage na so, so sleep you just dey sleep and na so you just dey snore, dey kick me. If your leg or hand touch me again, I go hit you back, I swear!”

I open my eye, I see say na Idowu dey talk. I say, “My pikin. Funke. Belle.”

Idowu say, “Which your pikin? Which belle? Abi you don go shack your ‘Usual’ for Madam Shine buka dis morning?”

Na dat time I come sabi wetin dey happen. So, dat tire wey I tire as I come back from Epe don make me dey dream dat kind bad dream? I come beg Idowu make e no vex, say na bad dream I dream.

I come talk am for my mind say but why Funke dey disturb me for N5,000 wen I want comot for house for morning? Abi dis girl want use di money comot belle?

I no fit bear am, make di dream no come be true. Quick, quick I jump enter my guonguoro, I tell Idowu say I dey come.

Na house I rush go so o. I see Funke siddon for parlour dey cry. I ask im mama wetin make im pikin dey cry. Bose, my wife, say Funke go lesson, come back say teacher no let am enter class becos e no get one book like dat.

I come command Funke make e stand up quick, e stand. I look im belle ti-ti-ti. I no see anyting. I say make e turn, e turn. I look im back ti-ti-ti. I no see anyting.

I ask Bose, “You sure say na di book dey make am cry, no order ting?” Bose say, “Anoder ting like what? Diaris no order ting.”

I smile. I tell Funke make e no vex. I count N5,000 give am for di book.

Na so my pikin jump up and hug me. E say, “Tank you very much, my Daddy. You’re di best.”

Im mama just tanda dey look di two both of us. I tell dem say make I rush go back to garage go continue my work.

After all, noting dey inside my pikin belle. Yeye dream, yeye belle.

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

Source News Express

Posted 22/03/2019 11:29:21 AM

 

 

CLASSIFIED ADS

 

You may also like...
Tuface sick, hospitalised and under doctors’ close watch...

SPECIAL FEATURE: What about Zlatan’s Zanku Album?

Before they became stars: The pains and struggles...

Celebrities’ old pictures evoke laughter in “10 Years...

Goodnight, the Ozigizaga King

Teni nominated Best New Artiste

Mercy Johnson wants women to start paying dowry...

Are you a wife material? Don Jazzy needs...

TOP 10 Naija songs

‘Night Bus To Lagos’ journeys to London

Sex video tape played in Lagos court in...

Nigeria’s TOP 10 Songs

 

CBN milk production

CBN banner advert

UBA Wise Savers Promo

 

Maggie's Blog
Latest Gist Are you a wife material? Don Jazzy needs you NOW! Revealed! Why Gov Emmanuel cannot sack Ini Edo as his personal aide Goodnight, the Ozigizaga King Nigeria’s TOP 10 Songs Dat Sikiratu Xmas Budget 2019 . . . Omotola demands to be addressed properly henceforth Eniola Badmus begs angry fans for eyeing other women’s lovers SPECIAL FEATURE: Laughter, tears and goosebumps, By Itty Okim Sikiratu don submit Xmas Budget 2019 Who is after Cossy Orjiakor? Meet the BOYS who have taken over Nigeria’s music industry Nigeria’s TOP 10 Songs

 


Most Read Nigerian stars who cannot do without smoking (87,508 views) At last, Davido reacts to Chioma’s shirtless ex-boyfriend photo (57,765 views) Husband dashes Mercy Johnson’s hopes, turns her to sales girl ahead of birthday (31,822 views) Veteran actor Kanayo O. Kanayo’s shocking discovery at Imo Government House (24,542 views) Anita Joseph breaks born again rule (22,561 views) See what Cossy Orjiakor wore to meet Sanwo-Olu (17,468 views) Popular female gospel artiste whose love for cigarettes and spirits is unequalled (17,396 views) Wife slaps Governor Obiano over mistress? (17,359 views) Nigerian music stars who may never shine again (15,160 views) Jim Iyke declared wanted (13,771 views) Cossy Orjiakor on wheelchair after attack by ‘evil’ pussycat (11,958 views) Expensive joke that may put Basketmouth in trouble (11,506 views)

 

Africa Media Agency and Al Jazeera