Posted by News Express | 15 March 2019 | 1,673 times
As I dey so, I no sure say I fit to do any order work apart from dis my taxi driver work.
For dis work o, noting wey I no dey take my eye see for Lagos road – di good, di bad, and di Osho Baba. Ah, my mouth shut up. Abeg make una no vex, na slip of tongue.
I actually been want say “Di ugly” but my tongue come sleep. Na so di ting dey sleep every time, na me dey always wake am up. I don dey warn am make e dey sleep small small, becos e get di day wey e go sleep and I no go wake am up. Tell me, wetin concern Osho Baba and ugly for dis case?
As I talk before Osho Baba matter come enter o jare. Since I run comot for my village for Ogbomoso, come Lagos (una know why), come learn mecho work and den graduate begin dey drive dis my guonguoro, di kind orisirisi tings wey my mouth dey see for Lagos road, my eye no fit talk am.
See like dat Wednesday, I carry one passenger like dat go drop for Marina for Island. I drop di bobo and begin dey come back for mainland.
As I just want climb IBB Bridge, I see as people dey run like say war don start. Dem dey run dey go dat Adeniyi Adele side. Dem dey run, dey put hand for head dey cry “Mogbe, omo mi o!”
One woman fall down, scatter for ground. Di woman trowey all di clothe wey e wear for body, just dey roll for ground, dey shout, dey cry. Di next ting be say di madam just off. People tink say e don peme be dat.
Na so all di people wey dey around for dat place stop me, dem say make dem carry di woman put for my guonguoro, make I carry am go hospital wey dey for dat road. Di same road wey everybody dey run dey go o. Tori Olorun!
Before I tink am sef, five Area Boy dem don open my door, carry di woman put for inside my guonguoro. Wetin I go do nah? Dis one na to do becos of God.
As I drive dey go for di hospital, di hole area don block. People dey cry, people dey shout. Na dat time I hear say na 4-story building collapse for dat road. And di house dem use am do Nursery/Primary school. Olorun Oba o!
Di hospital dey near di school building wey collapse. As I drive enter di hospital, na so people just dey carry school pikin and teacher dem wey di house fall on top, rush dey come for dat same hospital.
Di woman wey I carry come for di hospital just jump up for inside my guonguoro, begin dey shout: “My children, my children, where are my children? God o ooo, where are my three children o!” Na so di madam just run enter di hospital like dat.
Na for dat place I hear say gofment been mark dat building tele tele say di building no good, and gofment want pull am down, but di landlord bribe gofment people make dem no break di building.
Na for dia I hear say dem don tell di madam wey get di school make e pack comot for dat building becos of people children wey full for di school, but di madam no gree pack comot.
Na for dat place I hear say plenty pikin and teacher dem for di school die, plus including di madam wey get di school, and plenty pikin dem still dey for under di collapse building.
I no know wen I begin dey cry as I drive my guonguoro dey go for our garage wey dey for near Ikeja under bridge.
I reach for dat old Lagos/Ibadan toll gate, turn enter for Alausa secretariat road, na im I see four Olopa dey do check point.
Dem say make I park, I park. Dem say make I bring my particulars, I bring everyting give dem.
Wen dem see say my particulars complete, dia oga ask me why I dey do like say I no be Naija man. E say I suppose know wetin be particulars, weda na dat paper I give dem wey dem go chop.
I tell di OC say na only one particulars wey I sabi, and na im be di one wey I show dem so. Na im I stand attention for am like old soja. I salute am as I shout, “’Tion, Sir! All corrupt, Sir!!” Di OC laugh, and say make I dey go.
As I want put my guonguoro for gear one and move, di OC call me yeye man, e say dat ting wey I talk no be “All corrupt, Sir!” E say na “All correct, Sir!” I tell am tank you and begin go my way. Me and im na who come be yeye man?
As I dey go, I come dey talk am for my mind say weda dem take corruption do us for dis our Naija:
Olopa wey dey find naira particulars for road. Landlord wey sabi say im house no strong and e go bribe gofment official make dem no break di house.
Di gofment official wey collect di bribe and im full salary dey come every month.
Politician wey sabi say e no win election but e do mago mago put imsef back for office, den hire 18 SAN to defend am for court.
Poor people wey sell dia vote give wicked politician for chechere money.
Madam wey sabi well well say di story building wey e pack people pikin dem put inside, in di name of school, no strong.
And so on, and so forth.
In fact, I dey vex well well today. True true, all corrupt sir!
Make we jam again on Tuesday.
Tank you very much.
And tank you very, very much indeed.
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