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C-h-i-s-o-s !!!

Posted by News Express | 1 February 2019 | 2,353 times

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No be every market be market. Some market dey wey be say if you buy am, hmm, you go pray make you no ever see dat kind market again. Na dat kind market dem dey call bad market.

Like dis our taxi driver work, orisirisi passenger dem dey. E dey di kind passenger wey you go carry, e go be like say make you dey see am carry everyday, even if na for charter. And e dey di one wey you go carry, Tori Olorun, you no go want carry am again lai lai ti lai lai.

Dis my guonguoro don see orisirisi passenger dem - di good,  di bad, and di OBJ... sorry... and di ugly. My mouth shut up. Abeg make una no vex. Na sleep of tongue. Make una helep me wake dis my tongue up before e land di son of man for troublem.

Yesterday, I carry one passenger like dat go drop for Alapere. As di madam come down, I say make I take straight, go join Oworonshoki Expressway, den go back for our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge.

As I drive reach for di expressway, turn to begin face old Lagos/Ibadan Toll Gate, I see say my petrol gauge don show red. Na im I quick, quick branch for dat Conoil filling station.

As I buy petrol finish, want begin dey go, na im one bobo like dat say make I carry am for drop go Sango Ota. I tell am say Sango Ota no be here o, say dat one na Ogun State. Di bobo say make I no worry. I tell am my price, e say no troublem. E come talk say, di only ting be say I go pass Dopemu make e carry im market. E count my money pay me. E enter for front seat, na so we begin dey go.

Wen we reach Dopemu Round About, di bobo direct me enter one street like dat.

As we reach for one old house wey resemble di kind house wey one old Baba dey live inside alone for my village Ogbomoso, di bobo say make I park, e open my guonguoro door come down. E say make e run inside dat house go bring im market. I say okay.

I begin wait for dis bobo make e bring im market come out make we begin dey go Sango Ota.  10 minute, 15, 20, 30 . . . dis bobo never show face. I come begin blow horn pom, pom, pom!!! Di bobo no still show face. Na im I park well,  say make I come down, go see wetin dey hold am for inside di house, na im I see am carry one big Ghana-Must-Go bag for im head come out.

I open my guonguoro boot make e put im market, na im one kind heavy odour like dat just blow my nose. I ask am which kind smell be dat, di bobo say make I no vex, say e no know wen mess comot for im yansh. I say shoooo, so na mess smell like dis? Di bobo say na di five plate of Nkwobi wey im chop for one beer parlour yesterday night cause am.

As we begin dey go, di babanla smell enter my nose again. I ask am weda e don mess again. Di bobo beg me again say make I no vex, say na dat Nkwobi o. My broda, I nearly vomit.

As we enter for Agege Motor Road, to face Abule Egba, begin dey go Sango Ota, na im Olopa stop me. Di OC say make I bring my driver license, I give am. E ask for particulars, I give am up to date.

Di next ting be say, di OC and all di Olopa wey tanda for dia begin cover dia nose, dem come shout say “Na wetin dey smell like dis o ooo!!!”

My passenger tell dem say make dem no vex, say na im mess. Di OC use hand cover im nose and mouth, den come use sign tell me make I park well.

OC ask me wetin dey my guonguoro boot, I tell am say na my passenger bag dey dia. E  say make I open di boot.

As I open di boot, come hear first class smell! Olopa say make my passenger open di bag. Na im afraid come catch am, e come do like say e want escape. All di Olopa cock dia gun, point am for im head. Dem tell am make e open di bag kia kia.

As di bobo open di bag, na im everybody wey dey dia shout, C-h-i-s-o-s!!!

I no know say na human being body parts I dey carry since for my guonguoro boot ! Olorun Oba o!

For station, wen Oga Olopa come sabi say na me be Oga MAT, e release me one time. Dem trowey di stupid bobo inside cell. Bad market !

Na so I enter road, begin go back to our garage. Tori Olorun!

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

C-h-i-s-o-s !!!

Source: News Express

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