Posted by News Express | 4 August 2020 | 472 times
If no be Eledumare, di son of man for don peme tipe tipe.
Na im make I dey always tank am every day wen I go come back. Di kind tings wey man dey take im mouth see for Lagos road, im eye no fit talk am.
Di order day, I say make I rush early morning go Maryland go carry one passenger wey call me for night.
Di passenger say make I reach im house by 6 o'clock am in di morning so dat I go carry am go airport make e take flight wey dey go Abuja 9 o'clock am in di morning.
I take Pen Cinema, connect Ogba to go pass Omole begin go Opebi and cross to Maryland.
As I reach for Allen Junction, na im one sisi like dat stop me. E say make I go drop am for Shonibare Estate wey dey for Leventis bus stop before Maryland. As e be say na di side I dey go, I carry am.
If you see di kind mini skirt wey di sisi wear, you go pity di mama and papa wey born am.
Di sisi open front door and enter my guonguoro. E tell me say e wan sleep small, make I wake am wen we reach di estate gate.
E no reach one minute sef, di sisi bend im head one side and begin to snore. E use left leg press my gear, na im I touch am small make e wake up, say e dey disturb my work.
Instead make di sisi wake up, e kukuma carry di second leg and put on my dash board. Na so di mini skirt jus go up patapata. Come see as everyting show. Di sisi no wear dross for yonder sef. Shiooorr!
Di kind bie bie wey dey for dia reach like Brazilian hair wey dem dey take plait Bob Marley style.
I dey try to look front but my eye jus dey continue to go for dia. I wan shake di sisi make e wake up but I no fit. Instead, na look I dey look di open kini ti-ti-ti. Tori Olorun!
As I wan bend for dat corner for Opebi make we begin face Sheraton, na so I nearly drive go enter one trailer wey dem park for road side. Olorun Oba o!
Na so I match break fiiiaaaammm! I park. I come down and turn to im own window side. I shake am, shake am, but instead make di sisi wake up, e carry im leg up more more. And na so di kini jus open more more. I no know wen I begin speak in tongue mbokejorbikoyeriyaeleyishofepamini!!!
Na dat time di sisi wake up. E ask me weda we don reach di estate gate, I tell am say no be only estate gate, na heaven gate.
I come tell di sisi as I nearly drive go jam trailer becos of wetin e do.
Di sisi come beg me say make I no vex. Say wia e go do night duty, di bobo no allow am sleep till day break. And dis morning di bobo jus carry chechere money give am upon say im kini dey hot like say dem pour am pepper.
As e dey tell me, e don bend im neck, carry im leg up again and begin sleep. Na dat time I sabi di kind passenger I carry. Ashi buruku!
I jus manage drive am dey go jeje, I no look too much till we reach di estate get make I no go jam electric pole becos of say I dey look public property.
I wake am up and tell am say we don reach estate gate. Di sisi tank me, open di door and begin dey go.
I tell am say e never pay me my money. Di sisi begin hala. E ask me which money. E say how I wan make e pay after I don enjoy mysef finish.
Di sisi say weda I tink say im no know say na becos of di way I take look im kini ti-ti-ti make me wan go jam trailer.
E say im kini no be free of charge, weda na look, touch or do, you must pay in kind or in cash. E say customer na customer.
E talk say if I disturb am again, e go begin shout now say I wan kidnap am. Aye mi o!
I come talk am for my mind say so no be say dis Ashi been dey sleep all dat time, na set up. Aye mi o!
My broda, no be person tell me make I revise my guonguoro begin run go before dem hang tyre for my neck for dat soja barrack side.
Make we jam again on Friday.
Tank you very much.
And tank you very, very much indeed.
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