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I don hammer!

By News Express on 24/05/2019

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Views: 1,108


Any how wey pikin be, im mama must still like am becos nobody know wetin dat pikin go be tomorrow.

Who know weda dat pikin na im go be presido like Buhari or nimonia, sorry mi . . . mil . . . millio . . . (abeg make una helep me complete am) like Dangote.

Even for alagba age like me, person fit still jam luck, as me sef jam luck yesterday.

I reach our garage wey dey near Ikeja under bridge early dat yesterday morning. I siddon ti-ti-ti, passenger no show face. And I no see any of our union member dem.

Na later I hear for di small radio wey dey inside my guonguoro as Road Safety oga talk say Julius Berger dey repair Lagos/Ibadan Expressway. Na im cause di kind Go-slow wey be say even snail go run pass motor.

I come talk am for my mind say, which year dis people go ever repair dat road finish make people rest? Yesterday, repair. Today, repair. Tomorrow nko, repair. Haba! Na so so repair every day. Kilode?

Na di ting wey I siddon dey tink for garage wen small sleep just carry me . . .

Small time I hear grin, grin, grin! Na my torch light phone dey ring be dat. I look di number, I no sabi di person.

As I pick di call, na one sisi voice I hear. Di way di sisi take talk for phone, you go tink say e no dey shit. In short, di sisi wan talk oyibo pass oyibo people sef.

Na wen I gum my ear for my phone well well, na im I come dey understand small small wetin di sisi dey talk.

Di sisi talk say im be announcer for Lagos International Airport, say make I report for airport kia kia. E say wen I reach airport make I call dat number wey e use call me.

Me, report for airport? Na wetin I do? Who be di person wey wan see me? Abi na 419?

Well, man die but once. I know say I no do anybody bad, my hand clean. Na im I jump inside my guonguoro, open ignition, kick di engine, put am for gear one and move. Airport straight!

As I reach for dat airport toll gate, dem open di gate for me. Dem no ask me for money. I stop make I bring out money pay dem, di man ask me, “Oga MAT?” I say yes. E signal me make I dey go. I shock. And I no fit wait to ask am how e take sabi me and my guonguoro becos order motor wey wan pay for toll gate plenty for my back.

I reach airport car park, na di same ting, dem no wan collect parking money for my hand.

Na im I ask di car park man why e no wan collect money, di man ask me weda no be me be Oga MAT, I tell am say na me, e say somebody don pay for my parking.

I say who and how e take sabi my guonguoro? Di man say im no sabi di person but dem just pay and give am my guonguoro number. Tori Olorun!

I bring out my phone and call di sisi wey call me dat time. E ask me wia I dey, I tell am say I dey for airport car park. E say make I wait, somebody go meet me now.

E no reach 5 minute, I see two people carry load dey come for my guonguoro. As dem see me, dem stop. Dem say “Oga MAT, abeg open your boot make we put di load.” I ask dem who dem be, dem say di owner of di load dey follow dem for back.

As I come down make I open di boot, I see one oyibo woman wey im nose long like from Agege go reach Sango Ota.

Di oyibo woman rush and embreast me as e just see me. E say “Ahhh, it’s nice to meet you for di very first time, Oga MAT! I always enjoy reading your stories in faraway US.”

I just open my mouth dey look am as e dey talk pra-pra-pra like say e chop hot plantain.

E say make I open my guonguoro boot make dose people put im load. As dem put di load for boot finish, e bring out dollar for im shokoto back pocket and settle dem.

Di load people wan happy die. Dollar? Di oyibo say make I open di front passenger door for am, I open and e enter. E say make we dey go.

(To be continued)

Make we jam again on Tuesday.

Tank you.

Tank you very much.

And tank you very, very much indeed.

Source News Express

Posted 24/05/2019

 

 

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